A moment

Today I had a moment. I’m saying I had a moment because I was thinking about something and I didn’t want to share with you, or anyone ever in that matter. It’s something I should never share to anyone but myself. But one day, just one day I might will. Goodness, this is so not good. I think I’m going to start locking this journal after I write this. Actually, I had a few moments, I’ve been having so much of it since the last few times we spend some time together. Like about how sweet you are last time, but this time, it’s even more naughty thoughts that ran through my mind about you. I know?! Where can I get naughty thoughts about you from out of nothing much?! Well, let’s start with the one that I told you I was going to tell you next time. When you talking to me about how mean you are to your nephew, which (shame on me) I keep forgetting to remember their names since you remember Katelyn and Adrian’s. Beside the point, you told me how you kept him back and say to him in a mean tone “I Own You.” I’m weird I know, but from the tone of your voice when you say those words, I can just imagine you’d use that on me one day and it’s so sexy! I just all of a sudden thought about how forceful you can be. And it’s kind of manly to me and I like that in a guy, especially intimate-wise. LOL! Yeah, and then my thoughts went in the gutter. I couldn’t believe that was the second time in one night with you that it happened. When was my first time you ask? When I held your arms and touched your stomach. You have more meat on your stomach and bigger arms too! Do you know how sexy that felt?! LOL. You got me there too. But I didn’t say anything. I just knew I like you even more. I have more of you to hold on to, more of you to feel next to me, and more of your arms around me. I imagined how your body would feel like next to mines and all that sexiness I can get my hands all over. Yeah, my head went in the gutter. Want descriptions?! Let’s just say I’d imagined a lot of you and me together doing things I shouldn’t’ be talking about because it’s too embarrassing to share with anyone, not even you!! Well, at least not at the time. I know one day we’d be laughing about this if we were more intimate, but we’re not, so I can’t tell you about it. I just don’t know how you’d feel if I talk about such things with you. I kind of do trust that you won’t freak about my personality and how comfortable I can be when talking about those things with you. But you never know. So at that time, I didn’t want to talk about it. That’s why I told you I’d tell you another day. That day would be when we become more intimate (non-sexually) and honestly.. I don’t think it’s anytime soon. So, I get to keep it to myself. It wasn’t a bad thing; it’s something good about something bad. I mean why would I want to talk about sexual thoughts about you when you were just talking about your nephew?! LOL! I’ll tell you one day when it’s right. And when that day comes, we can really laugh about it. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, maybe it’s just hormones. It’s about that time of the month. You’d probably think I’m a freak, which I am, but most people are, and I’m fine admitting to it! Well, at least to one person only. I think you’re that person, hopefully. I hope you’re someone who isn’t going to be afraid of me being myself; of how I’m just a human and I’m a sexual being, although I’m still a virgin, but I still think about those things okay?! And I think one day I can tell you about those things and just laugh about it. I think we’ll be cool about it and become closer. I meant ‘Closer’ as in talking and getting to know each other better but not like having sex closer. Hmm, I wonder why you asked me about wanting to have kids and parenting stuff. Are you insinuating a sex talk?! LOL. Just kidding, you’re such a gentlemen to upfrontedly talk about sex. You’re so cute. I love you liem. I had a great time with you today. Reading children’s books and finding waldo was fun. I like it when we go to Barnes & Nobles. And sushi was good too! I haven’t eaten sushi in a while especially at Kanno’s.

I see Dead people

I'm taking anatomy and physiology. I'm studying with cadavers. I'm actaully disecting them. next week is my third week. i feel like i'm burnout. never studied so hard in my life. okay, back to studying... laters LJ