Procrastinating

I have a test tomorrow. A test that's 25% of my final grade of a course that's 6 credit hours. I'm so burnt out on school. It's just five more weeks until the end of this semester. By this time I'm getting real sick of studying like a monster. I haven't been studying for this test this whole week and usually I'm on top of things. Now I'm so stressed out because there's alot of material that I need to get started on right now. Shhh..... don't tell my teacher I haven't been studying. I also have my RRT written exam boards this Saturday and I haven't been studying hard. I do study for it, just not hard. =( I'm tired of school man. And what's worse is that I'm spending time writing this blog when I should be studying. I'm so distracted right now. I wish I had someone to encourage me to study. I'm not as motivated right now, maybe because there's so much I need to focus on and I lose my determination and motivation altogether. Especially during this time; near the end of the long haul. I can't give up. I must not. Okay. Hopefully, after I publish this blog, I will be studying.

Thinking

Today I started my first rotation of echocardio at University Hospital. Will this be something I want to do? Sure I can do it, but do I want to?! Hmmmm.... I've been trying to think about this for a while. And I think I still am. I'm not sure yet. We'll see how it will play out in a couple of more months. Anyways... I think I want to put in an application to start working. I can definitely use the money. That means, I'm really growing up. I'm actually becoming "who you want to be when you grow up." I had many dreams of who I wanted to be when I grow up and it was along the lines of somewhere in the medical field. And Yep. Here I am today doing just that. I knew I wanted to help people. But I didn't really know how to do that when I was younger. But as I grew up things happen in your life that shape who you are and I think it came along doing just that. It all started when my parents always wanted their kids to become doctors or something in the religious vocations. Like a priest and nun just like any typical Vietnamese parents desired. I was in the convent for a couple of years, but obviously it didn't work out. It just wasn't my calling. But it did guide me on my way to becoming who I truly meant to be. Being exposed to people through servicing and chairity really helped me ease into helping people openly and head on. I sometime amaze myself at the abilities I have indwelled in me. I don't know where it comes from but putting my foot forward and digging my hands into this kind of work is quite natural for me. I think I become more of myself in doing the work, as if God is working through me. So I hope I can wake up every morning wanting that feeling over and over again. To work with a smile with each person I encounter each day and keep up that energy to last for a while. I hope I keep my smiling face everyday. People kinda of like it. I feel like I'm needed and wanted there. I feel like I have a purpose in my life; a life with meaning and passion and that I'm doing something to better the world. I guess we all do our part in the world and this is mine and it is my time. I was the future of the world, and you know what.. I am the now of the world. It's such a good feeling! =) I'll leave that thought as my conclusion for this entry.