Time Never Goes Back

I found this story which I think its pretty interesting. After reading, I could relate it to my life.

And I hope that I won't miss it again.

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher...

Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?

Teacher : (Silent for few second, then he answer) Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.

Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???

Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.

Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later...

Student : I'm back.

Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.

Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.

Teacher : That's what happened in real life.

What is the message of this story?

* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time

* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back".

It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don't waste time!

...There Can Be Only One...

it's been a while Hidden

since I've dreamed of him like that.
I don't know what to make of it.
I always knew I loved him.
I miss being close to him.
Most definitely close.
That heavy feeling inside my heart,
He triggered it again.
It's been so long since I felt that way.
I miss it so much.
Seeing him.
and I miss us.
I miss myself being in love with him..
I miss being held.
I miss holding his hands, just being next to him.
Should I just dust it off and let it go.
Or does this mean something more?
I'm so scared of feeling this way again,
I don't know if I can handle this feeling
Actually I already began, I'm trying to fight it off.
But somehow, it's taking the best of me.
To the point it's in my dreams?
It's obviously something I've been thinking about alot lately.
Everything that's going on around me somewhat revolves around it.
Is God telling me something??
Am I not listening?
What does God tell me?
What does my heart tell me?
I feel guilty for the most part.
Like I betrayed us.
I felt like I cheated on him.
If he knew, he would be so hurt.
I don't want that.
If he knew how stupid I was, or how imperfect I am.
or how ugly I am from the inside
He wouldn't want anything to do with me.
If he knew.. I'd be the one devastated.
I wish I can talk to him.
to know how he feels.
I wish I can tell him things I kept inside for so long.
things I don't even write but haunts me every effen day.
because I'm ashamed of myself.
I can't even bring myself, to even dare write out
what exactly happened that one night.
Things I have to live with on my own.
Not sharing the pain and guilt inside.
That was killing me for so long now.
Kept me from living my life.
I wish I can go back to days when I whole
I fell apart that one december night
and I never actually recovered.
I live with it day in and day out.
It's part of me, even though I don't like it
I'll just have to deal with it and move on.
let go all of it.
[2.10.09]

It's been a while

Sheesh Van.....
I gotta move on.
all this non-sense of my emotions getting the best of me
I can't let it rule my life
I have to take control
I have to think with my head, not my heart
I know better than to fall back into that pattern
It's like that dream I had years ago.
I know he doesn't love me now
and he never will.
I gotta face that fact and move on
and not make any excuses for him anymore.
There's someone else for me in my future.
He will love me and make me happy.
I just know it, I just have to fight through this feeling.
I must have hope. That love will come again.
Pray and be patient for that day to come.
When the time is right, the love of my life will be with me.

Rich Dad Poor Dad

Well, I don't know why I didn't read this book earlier. But I can relate to so many things in this book... it's freaking me out! Anh Hung told me to read this book a long time ago. Back when I was still at Delgado. Why didn't I listen to him? No wonder he lives his life the way he does. Fortunately, things happens for a reason and I couldn't appreciate it more that this landed in my life at this exact moment. I really needed this book. It gives me a sense of what I'm up for in my adulthood. I revamping my plans now. I just realized that I'm single and I will be single for quite sometime. Even if I have a new boyfriend soon, my tax paper work will still be filed as a single independent. And single girls like me will have to put out alot of money for the government. There's no way around it. Unless I get married and file with a spouse and some kids for dependents. I'm dreading to pay taxes, but I know Ihave to hurry up and pay off my school loans and credit cards bills. I also planned to give my mom allowance too. Because I love her and because she loves me. I know now I'm pretty much an asset to my parents. My dad said he would let me live in one of his houses... or maybe he was just joking, but I think it's much smarter to keep it up for rent and not sell it unless we're really feeling the pressure of the financial crisis. I really don't mind the paperwork and calling and being a bitch to the tenants while my dad plays the nice owner role. I never knew my parents were teaching me things I'm reading in this book already. I used to think I was just helping them out, but in truth they were helping me with my future and how I handle paperwork and business with people. Whoa, I better cool it with the bitchiness. I can never forget that time I bitched out someone over the phone and made my parents burst out laughing. I was just trying to get those people to know that vietnemese people are not pushovers. I now understand why Anh Hung owns so much apartment complexes and his store has extra space for new ideas he doesn't have money for yet. I think I will move over to Lafayette afterall. I really do need to get out of this town and it's haunting memories. And I would love to be nearer to my god-daughter and that cardiovascular institute is looking more appealing than anything now. But I still have to really think about it. I've been very bored with echo. And I know I can do respiratory, no problem. It's quite laid back and I can invest my free time into real business. And since I'm paying tuition and pretty much took out loans for my education, I should take advantage of it all and obtain everything it has to offer. I'm still young and I can do anything if I just put my mind into it. I'm really glad Ngoc talked to me about this book. I hope Richard reads it and pertain to his life also. I want Ngoc to be happy and be well taken care of. I can't wait to go back to Barnes tomorrow and finish reading this book. I have a quiz on Wednesday to study for too. I love it when Darrin let's me go early I hope he lets me go again tomorrow. I love going to Barnes and read. I have to pack gym clothes for tomorrow cause I have a date with Glenn to help me with my butt workouts.

Dancing

So, I slept most of the day and tried to get back my energy from all the dancing and working out. I think I lost two more pounds after this weekend. But then I've been drinking alcohol too and that may have a negative effect. I went to wal-mart tonight after I scrubbed the bathroom and got ready for tomorrow's lunch and such. I wanted to keep busy to keep my mind off things. Hopefully clinicals doesn't bore me tomorrow.

I can't believe it. I finally went out and danced my head off two nights in a row. I went to a gay bar and then clubbing the night after. I didn't planned it or anything. It was "spur of the moment" kind of descions, which are the best ones! I miss dancing. And good thing I've been doing Yoga so it helped me get back into it pretty easily. I haven't danced like that in years. I think the last time I danced like that was maybe the convent days. I think I got the gist of dancing at a very young age. I find out alot of things about myself that I never shared to anyone but only the convent girls knew. They were there when I realized it myself. I love dancing! And I'm a little ghetto. I'm really a black girl on the inside. I love to dance with my butt and boobs. And after this weekend, I don't have to control it all in anymore. I danced my heart out and it was a blast. I also got to see alot of familiar faces at the club too. I guessing they didn't think I would dance like that. I don't think they knew it was my first time dancing in front of them like that. But whatever, I know it's not a big deal to them. But I had so much fun. I'll never forget it! I'm glad I finally let go a little more in front of my friends and trusted them a little more. Especially with him there too. If anything, he's the only person I can trust myself around with more than anyone else. But in the end, it's all on me. If anything bad or sad ever happens to me, I can handle the consequences or pain it comes with. I have to trust myself to get over it and deal with it and move on.