Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Mother Again
I'm still worried about my mother and what she'll think when i tell her these stuff. Maybe i'll just wait until i meet the right guy and slowly let her find out and break it to her. I mean, I really appreciate all the times she held my hand when i needed her. Those times of counsel and love will never be forgotten. Just hope that she'll understand, and don't think that i want to really have a boyfriend to make her sad, it's just me growing up. it's hard on both of us, for her to let go, for me to actually start dating. Damn. To think of it, I'm not really ready for a relationship. i know i don't want to rush into it. So, i'll just wait for the right one i guess & the right time to tell my mother which is when I actually do have a boyfriend. Gosh! I'm thinking to much about something that really doesn't exist yet. I wonder how the pressure will be when i actually do have a boyfriend and tell my mother about it. Urgh. Imma stop thinking about this man, I guess just for now. It's really not that important yet anyways.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Friday, May 21, 2004
Dear Jesus
I prayed to you many times for for letting me love him, and i always thought that he was loving me also. but i found out he doesn't anymore. he met soemone new, and he's in love with her. but it's okay, i trust you Jesus, and i still wanna Thank You for letting me love him, and feel the way that i do. It made me happy sometimes. and it made me realize how i really miss and how i really loved him. Now he says he's met soemone new! Urgh! i'm not sure how i feel. all these times i thought he still likes me. Why was i lying to myself. how did this happened?! I thought he still likes me. I'm sad now and feel betrayed, and i'm the one to blame. but yet i feel okay and cool about it, because this is what supposed to happen right?. I dunt know.I just really miss him
i guess it's alright, the best thing to do is to keep calm. because it's the best way to be. Maybe this is a test Jesus is testing me. and i believe that we belong together. If i keep my faith, then everything will be okay. It doesn't matter how many girls he goes out with cuz one day we will end up together. It's okay. If it's a test, i'll take it, and all the sadness it comes with. I want him to do whatever he wants, and be happy any moment he has. It'll be fine. I'll just hang on.
Song: Hanging By a Moment -Lifehouse
Mood: sad, and okay about it
i guess it's alright, the best thing to do is to keep calm. because it's the best way to be. Maybe this is a test Jesus is testing me. and i believe that we belong together. If i keep my faith, then everything will be okay. It doesn't matter how many girls he goes out with cuz one day we will end up together. It's okay. If it's a test, i'll take it, and all the sadness it comes with. I want him to do whatever he wants, and be happy any moment he has. It'll be fine. I'll just hang on.
Song: Hanging By a Moment -Lifehouse
Mood: sad, and okay about it
Thursday, May 20, 2004
urgh!
This is what it says in his profile: "I'm In Love Hell Yeah"
He says that he just recently met someone, and that he was scared to tell me, and relieved his stress because he told me?! ugh?! i feel: i dunt know. Should be sad, but mostly blank and shocked and taking it cooly. Ugh! Oh well, i guess that's it.
Song: Frou Frou - "It's good to be in love"
He says that he just recently met someone, and that he was scared to tell me, and relieved his stress because he told me?! ugh?! i feel: i dunt know. Should be sad, but mostly blank and shocked and taking it cooly. Ugh! Oh well, i guess that's it.
Song: Frou Frou - "It's good to be in love"