Randomness

Smoothie King is cool.
Be good to yourself!
Chewing is overrated.
In about five days, I'll be twenty-two years old.
I feel dumb at school.
I stopped losing weight.
I want to lose weight again,
as soon as the weather gets warmer.
Dell.com suck ass.
I almost had my laptop.
I'm planning to get one though.
I miss my boyfriend.
We're both too busy now.
Do I need goggles for Biology lab?
I'm broke. Books took an arm and a leg.
I'm going to fail alot of my classes this semester.
But I will try my best anyway.
be back to write more. randomness

Forever and a Day

I will never forget that day. December 28, 2006. Something happened for me. It was great. It seem as if it was meant to be, me and him. There was Josh Groban singing and then the theme song from Romeo and Juliet 'A Time for Us' music playng in the background at Barnes & Nobles. The way we looked at each other when we noticed all those things around us, that made the moment unforgettable. Like it was meant to be 'our moment'. The poster of The Great Gatsby, (the book I was talking about to him the day earlier.) The book 'Dating for Dummies' that was next to us. It was like signs all over. This was so 'Our Moment'. It was just a day spending sometime together, walking around the mall, nothing much planned. Then when we were in Hallmark, and it suddenly hit me. I asked him to pick out two blank cards. I picked one and he picked one. He had No idea what was going on. For me, I really had the urge to do it. It was an idea I thought would be perfect for us and I went through it without fear. He was scared at first too, but he went along anyway. I told him that we're going to write to each other and exchange it. He said he was gonna leave it blank or take his time over the next few days writing it. I told him that leaving it blank says alot too. I told him there's no pressure, just write whatever he want, I myself had no idea what to write. I don't mind if he doodle something on it. Which he did, 'a stick picture of us under a tree with a shooting star passing over us'... hehe =). I'm glad he didn't leave it blank. There wasn't any pressure. It was just 'Us'. We embraced it with exchanging written words of our feelings about that moment with each other. How brilliant?! Buying blank greeting cards at Hallmark and spend a lil time at Barnes & Nobles to write how we feel about each other out of the blue. And reading what we wrote in the cards over sushi dinner at the place where he took me on our first Date (Sept. 6, 2006). How wonderful was that. Just made the day even more perfect, and we didn't plan it at all. It was lightly raining outside that day too. My best moments with Liem always happen on rainy days. I love the rain for that reason, and that one reason only, I just think of him, deeply. It was one of the most happiest day I ever felt. That same day, I felt many other emotions too, from mad crazy to peacefully happy, but the greatest is love. Shhh... don't tell him. but I bet he knows already. I can feel that he did too. I know, we're so young, maybe naive. But who cares, He makes me happy all over. And each day I feel more into him than I'd ever can imagine. To have gone thourgh one bad week, and have one great week. Damn life sure is good! The ups and downs and the psychotic moments in between, LOL... I'm glad I'm sharing it with him. I can't believe most of the time I was yelling and hitting him, but he didn't mind. And the spontaneous moments in between, Oh Heavely Father. How can you be crazy/mad at someone and still be madly in love with him? *sigh* Can't live with them, can't live without them. He can sometimes really piss me off, but mangaes to say the sweetest things to melt my heart. Maybe he pisses me off at first as a setup and then make me fall in love with him. Damn, he's good. LOL. I know he's sincere and really loves me though. He always make me laugh. sometimes I don't let it get to me, but there's just something about him. His aura: the smile, the eyes, his voice, things he say, the way he shy away from me, trying to hide his feelings, but wise at the same time, and tell me things I need to know. So that he might not worry me but in turn comfort me. Damn, I'm a sucker for Liem. What am I going to do? I'll tell him how much I Love him one day, when I'm ready. In fact, that day I told him that if anything ever happens to him, I wanted him to know I really care for him. I held him a little closer, a little tighter cause we were already next to each other. I hope he understands that no matter how mean I may seem to him, I really do care for him. He hold my hands alot and let me hold his arm when we walk. He let me hit him alot too. LOL! He hasn't kiss me yet. But I love him for that. I can't beleive he's still with me. I'm grateful to the Heaven Father, for letting me have Liem in my life.

And Again

What was i thinking? Now, it's so different. I'm staying with liem because i really do love him, and i'm trying my best, but i'mnot going to be stupid and spend money on him, he doesn't want to either, both are scared we will get hurt and when we do break up it will be hard. like Chi Juie still paying off her credit card bills from her stupidity from trung and david. I can't believe it, i guess it makes them more wise abotu their moneyy. And i should too. i won't give in to that. especially with liem. There's alwys an open chance that we will hurt each other. But i hope i don't hurt him andi hope he doesn't hurt me, but it we were to get hurt, i would rather be hurt than hurt him. i reall ylove him. I shouldn't have pressured him the way i have.... because lord knows he doesn't pressure me in any uncomfortable way. and he doesn't make me do anything that i don't want to. Only i want to. Like kissing him and hold his hands and talking to him everyday and spending money on him. He doesn't want me to but i do. But now it's different. i won't have to spend cause i'm not ready to give my all to him. and it was him that made me realize that. i'm still trying to learn more about him and learn from mistakes and appreciate him. and grow in love with him. we argued for the first time. but we still have fun too. it's weird how we can be so mean to each other but love each other so much. without kissing though. we hold hands hugs and looks and talk. i took a risk yesterday and i'm glad i did. it was from God's grace that granted me that courage and idea to do. it will always be memorable even if we break up but more that we will remember it and still be together.

A new year, a new start

I'm glad i have sisters that love me. i wish i was wiser and nicer to them and not as conniving as they think i am. I'm not smart. I just do what i do. Man, Am i that mean? Anyways, I think me and liem is going to break up. he doesn't treat me as i deserve, maybe he's like chu hieu and is very cheap, but you can't be cheap to your girlfriend like that. may liem doesn't like me that much. and i'm not worth anything to him. i thought i was more than that. Man was i wrong, but i'm glad i figured this out before it's too late. So i htink imma just cool i todwn a lil bit, and give him one more chance. he made me sad twice. One for not appreciating me because of my gift. and that he didn't treat me well, after having the upper hand of knowing what he got for christmas. and when he didn't call me back after i told him we're going to spend less time. Why is he still with me? Is he using me? probably is, but this new year, it's going to be diferent. I'mnot putting anohter dime in our relationship. If he can't pay attention to me and make me happy then i'mnot going to try twice as hard in effort for this relationship to work. I want us to be together, but i need him to meet me half way and i don';t fell that way this past week. Oh well, I don't know i'm jst going to give him one more chance, and i'm beingnice like i am. i know he doesn't know how to hit on girls or flirt but at least give an effort. I dont' need him if he's going to be that way. If he can support me now, how am i going to be able to trust him and dpend on him for support. Not in finacial ways but in emotional ways too. I feel he doesn' tlike me, andi dont' desreve that kind of treatment.

Letter to Liem

I don't know what you're probably going through. Maybe i'm just silly, but maybe you're thinking twice about our relationship. and maybe, just maybe you want to break up with me. and it's really it's okay by me. I think i can handle breaking up with you again. You know i really like you. maybe it's hard for you to understand why i do. But i do. You might be worried about how we are both so different. i know you sometimes feel uncomfortable with me when it comes to money. I hope you know i'm not with you for your money. don't think having money will make me happy. There's people rich with money but poor in other ways. Well, my dear, you may not have alot money but you're rich in love and kindness. you might not know it, but sometimes you sell yourself a little short. you're capable of so much more than some rich guy. A rich guy doesn't know how to work hard for what he has, they may have been spoon fed all their life and take for granted what they have. but for someone who have to work hard for what they have, they are rich in strength, determination, and hardworking ability. Money doesn't make a man better than others. strip all that away what would you have. Probably a cocky lazyass. So, don't think that giving me fancy things will make me happy. Just be yourself.

And the thing about my mom and dad. we'll be okay. they're grown ups, they have to understand for us. We're still growing. we're not perfect, people make mistakes, even them, we gotta learn and learn it all together. they're giving you a chance for their trust. Well, maybe not my dad for now, he has this big male ego, and it's hard to talk to him, but give him a lil time. he'll come around. He's very a smart man and very understandable. You gotta understand for him too. we're all just people trying to get along that's all. maybe i'm over simplifying it. but I don't want you to get scared and freak out, cuz lord knows i am too. But i'm glad i'm with you. if i never start dating you, i wouldn't understand all this. about how hard life is, and how we still gotta move on and keep living. It's all part of growing up. I'm glad i'm doing this now than later. you know i couldn't do this alone right? My dad has little faith that my first love will last, and it's funny because maybe it is true. I hope you don't give up on us yet. But it's okay you do. maybe this is all i can have of you. and maybe it's just my luck. And somehow it shows how right my parents are. either way, i'm glad i'm a lil wiser and love my parents even more. I'm grateful i've experienced this and whose more pefect than having you beside me while i go through this? Thanks liem. and If you'll still have me, I still want to thank you too anyways.

Oh BTW, i didn't go to pensacola this weekend. My mom cancel the trip. I went to confession today. it was good. What's up with that song on your page? sometimes you scare me liem, anyways listen to my song. Hope to talk to you soon.