The night you made me CRY!

Tonight you made me so scared. You made me feel what I dreaded to feel. The painful sadness that overwhelms your heart when the person you love says they don’t love you and that they can never find themselves loving you. It’s the saddest thing in the world. You questioned my love for you. Do you know how demeaning that is?! I thought you trusted me and know me a little bit better. But it’s okay. If you need to put me on the spot and know for sure. Than you gotta do it.

Been Busy

During the last few weeks I've been so busy with school, work, clinicals, exams, and just regular errands around the house. I'm so tired! I hate school. But this is the last four weeks of the semester. We're finishing off clinicals and presenting case studies on a patient we choose to talk about. I have to talk about their signs and symptoms. What they're diagnosed with and treatment of the patient. I think I'm going to choose an easy one like asthma or something.

Clinicals are okay. Been exposed to alot of things. Learn alot of things and there's still more to learn. Sigh. I'm tired. I think I need to quit Smoothie King so I can really focus on school. But I need to save up to pay off my dental bills and also save up for christmas. My family knows not to expect alot from me this year, so yeah. I think it was a good idea me and my boyfriend made a pact last year abotu gift giving. We said that we are going to buy presents not for each other, but for TOTS or something. I think he's sweet and all, but I want to get something for him to show I care. But I guess by followign through with our pact will be good right?! I really didn't liek it at first, but somehow.. It's funny that everything happens for a reason.

Okay, I really need to go to sleep now. Night Night!

September Ends

Whoa, this month has come and gone by so fast!! I was so busy with school! Everyweek there's a test or exam coming up to study for. Next month will be diferent. We've been craming the last two months to study for our clinicals.... which starts in two weeks!!! We got Respiratory Fundamentals done in two months!!! Ahh!!! I can't believe they did that to us. Well, we kinda did alot this past summer too. There's so much to learn and so little time!!!! I'm so scared of clinicals!!! Am I ready for it?!!?!? Am I?!?!?! Ahhh!!!! So, we're doing clinicals but also..... we have to continue our other courses too. Like Pharmacology and Cardiopulmonary Physiology and Critical Care Concepts. Wish me luck!! Be back next month to update. By the way, I got a stethescope!!! It's so cool! I feel like a doctor!! LOL. And YES! I will use it on patients!!! And do therapy too!! Coolness huh?!?! I'm so excited. Can't believe that it's happening.

Classic Ones

There's a reason why I'm not into Pharmacy as many of my friends are. Cause Damn!! It's so much information! I'm only taking a general pharmacology course and I'm trying to catch up on the drugs already. I know it's basically memorization to pass it, but to truly understand it, uh.... you might as well become a medical doctor. I only have to know some of the drugs that's related to my field of work and I'm already complaining, but to know all of it.... How can you manage?!?! For those who are going into Pharmacy School, Good Luck! It's a pretty good field if you're interested in it. It's probably so much more interesting to yal than it is to me so don't give up! There's alot of biology/chemistry concepts and yes, marketing and law too!! It's more like a business field career than a medical career to me. Keeping up with all the new names and different new derivatives of a new drug. Also, having to deal with the FDA finding major side effects with the new drug. Ugh!!
Man, I'd feel guilty of giving out those drugs in the first place. It's too complicated for me. I know people learn from their mistakes and they'll try to fix it. But it shouldn't happen in the first place. I know you see those commercials on TV about drugs and lawsuits. Rosiglitazone (Avandia) is one.
So, here's a good tip: You rather be safe than sorry. So if you ever need drugs, stick to the classic ones. All the new ones are just out there to make money! Once in a very long time, they'll discover a good drug, but never the miracle drug. I know penicillin is a good old classic, it was known as the miracle drug once upon a time. But now, it's just an antibacterial. There's so much viruses in the world right now that there's not a good drug to fight against it all. The world is just gonna eat us all up!!! Ahhh!!! just kidding.. we're adaptable.
Anyways, it's not like the pharmacists write the perscriptions!! They just fill it, The doctors make the orders... So it won't be entirely the pharmacist's responsibilty. So take it easy. Just a little encouragement to future Pharmacists!! and Pharamaceutical reps too!! Don't give up... I feel for yal! Who knows, yal might find a cure for AIDS or cancer. =)
As for me, I hope I don't fail out of school right now. I wanna start buying a house and invest some money for my retirement. And then go to peace-corps with my hunny. LOL! i'll just keep dreaming (and studying...) hhahaha.. we'll see.

Til next time my dears, Van.
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My August

Hmmmm.. how can I do this?! how can I write about something that I shouldn't write about but dying to write it so I can remember the sweetest moments of my life?! Oh, Nevermind. These are the moments I'm going to be greedy with and never to share with the world. Besides, it's best if I only share with the person I really care about anyways. And it may be something no one wants to read about... but me. Man, I feel like screaming on the top of my lungs to world about it and describe every little detail of the things that happened!!! So that I can never forget these moments. The time when I was young and discovering new things about myself that I couldn't ever imagined. I'm hopelessly in love with the boy I've always dreamt about in all my dreams. All the fantasies I always wanted are slowly and sweetly coming true. Though I am kinda impatient... but it is true, the best things comes to those who wait. And I'm not as scared and nervous as I thought I would be but there's always a first to everything. He makes me insanely crazy but so blissfully happy. I don't know, I'm really out of my mind. All these feelings and sensation going through my body and I'm not even having sex or anything. I almost wanted to die in his arms. Okay I think that's enough.