Sunday, January 27, 2008

Bday Vlog

Just a quick vlog. I'll have a full vlog up later when I finish editing it.  But for now a raw unedited vlog about the morning of my bday. No music. no intro and no ending.





My hair is alot and big huh?! It's very volumized today. And why do I keep looking back to the left?! there's a clock on the wall... and I keep looking at it. I didn't want to be late.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Vlogging

new way to blog.




Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hopeful 2008

 Just a few more days til I hit my scary age. 23. eww. I'm old. How is it a scary age?! because there's no turning back from here. I'm officially never going to be young again. Physiologically, your peak age is 20 and from there, you start to degenrate. Really... according to Dr.Levitsky (my pulmonary professor). Your body stops developing at the average age of 18. Kids are growing at a faster rate than young adults and they gradually hit a plateau... during the early 20's. I'm thinking 21 and 22 is the best age I'll ever be. But now.... I'm 23. OMG!! 23!!! I'll never be 21 or 22 again. My life better start rigth now or else! But I'm still in the process ya know?! Feel like I'm behind and better get my act together or else! I feel like looking for something new in my life. A change. I want to travel the world see new places and meet new people.


EDIT:  New way to Blog!! By Video. So this is my first attempt at a vlog. (short for video blog)


I did it at night time in my room. It was so quiet since everyone's sleeping. I'll make a better Vlog next time. I will speak clearly and loudly!! and Edit the video better. And include bloopers too for humor. In time, I will get better at it like other people are. I'm just breaking into something different. I'll just have a blast with it ya know... even though I know i suck at it! LOL!



Saturday, January 5, 2008

Lost Soul

I don't know where to start. but I know gotta start somewhere, somehow. I really want this, but I can't find it in my heart yet and actually pull through. Everytime I get near it or given a chance to renew my life, I pull away. I need to get over myself and accept it. I know I can get him back in my life. From time to time I can feel him when I try to talk to him. But then I become overwhelmed with passion and much guilt and sadness. Maybe it's because of his strong love for me that kills me. And because I'm a sinner. I want forgivness, and I know he will give it to me, but I need to forgive myself first. I can't come to that point yet. But I do want to, at least try to. I just don't feel like I want to yet. I was at the door to confess for absolution, but I left it. I wasn't ready. I didn't want to go in and bust out a lie. I can't lie to myself and especially to God. So one day, I will find the courage to relive my life again. Live my life as I did before. Before I got lost.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A Material Girl

F*ck that... I shouldn't have to explain myself to haters (in this case jealous people) because I really don't give a damn about them. but I need to get something off my chest.

So, okay I might came off as a materilistic person, but I can really do fine without them. I don't have alot, really... I don't. So, I don't understand why people look down on me because I have some of these nice things for myself. I don't go around telling people what I have, if you see that I have it, than what more do you need to know? I don't go showing it off to people to prove to them what I'm made out of. If I do show it off... Which I do to my close friends and relatives sometimes, who knows I'm not materialistic. They probably just think I'm silly for even making a big deal out of it but yet still happy for me. The reason why I make a big deal out of it is.... I don't have much, and when I do have something... it makes me appreciate it more. It somewhat makes me feel a little bit better about myself. Sad Huh?! It's probably because of the people who has more than me seem happier. It's sad but somewhat true. That's why I don't go showing off to people making them want to have it too. Material things isn't the definition of happiness. And so, having alot of material things doesn't make you a materialistic person. It's not the actual material things that make you the person you are; it's the feeling you give yourself with those things. I know these material things doesn't make the person I am. I'm what makes myself. These things doesn't make me more of a person, but it doesn't make me less of what I am either. Just because I have these things doesn't mean I'm materialistic.

Those who make fun of people like me with nice things are just jealous and need to make themselves feel better by calling me materialistic. If you have self-esteem problems, don't take it off on others. Just because my lifestyle isn't the same as yours, doesn't give you the right to say your lifestyle is better. It may better for you in different reasons, like having a non-flambouyant lifestyle and being happy simply comes from simple little things. And I understand, because it does for me too! But don't go smashing down my lifestyle because it has extra stuff yours doesn't because you think is has too much unneccessary things to you. I mean I agree it's unneccessary, but if you get the chance to have it, why not?! I don't want to deprive myself from it. It doesn't change who I am. Having big houses and vaults full of diamonds and gold doesn't make me a better person than you. It's really what you do with it. I don't use it to put others down to make myself feel better. So, please don't judge me by my stuff and put me down for having it. By the way, I'm not materialistic. There are others who have more things than me. But I'm not complaining. I appreciate the things I have. I bet they do too.

For those who doesn't have much, I bet you appreciate all that you have too. I mean, honestly, I don't have alot of expensive nice quality name brand things. But even If I did, it doesn't change who I am. I'm not into people who have expensive things and think they're all that. There are other people who are filthy rich, but are more down to earth than you think. Bottomline: Even though I have some expensive things, it still doesn't define me as the person I really am. So back off bitch, call me materialistic all you want. but I know what I am and I'm not materialistic. If you more concerned about the material things I have, you're more materialistic than me.


So eat sh!t and die. Just kidding. Happy New Years!

Materialistic people:
People who have alot and show it off and putting others down for not having it.
People who don't have alot and putting others down for having it.

Non-Materialistic people:
People who appreciate all that they have, A lot or A little.