i have realized things about myself during the passed month. I always have habits of thinking about him alot and dreaming about him and having him in my mind the first thing in the morning. It takes some time to get pass it. I dunt look for him on the streets by his grandma house or at the store anymore. Nor do I try to see where he sits on Sunday at Mass. I dunt drive on his street unless i have to and i dunt IM him up anymore. I guess my life goes on with or without him in my heart. But i still have the habit on looking at his personal page. As of Now, there' s no one i feel for. I feel dead because i have no feelings to keep me looking forward to a new day. I feel like i'm just living just to be alive. But what's more drastic is that, it's hard for me to smile now. I dunt feel the happiness anymore, because i know my smile won't make him happy. It'll just be a smile on the outside, but nothing much on the inside, and i'm not used to that. Most of the time when i smile, I think about him because he told me that he likes my smile and it makes him smile and i like his too.
