It's so hard for my family right now lord, I'm trying my best to be strong for my lil sisters. I have no where to turn to but you... my family is all depressed and angry with hong. my friends are all far away. I don't have time to talk to them and time to be alone and time to be with you and time to take care of things. My necks freaking hurts and i can't sleep at night, i miss my bed my house my bathroom my hair straightner, Man it's crazy. I want to cry, but i'm don't want to show it. I hate myself. I don't have any friends. And i'm not ready to make new ones yet. i miss the ones i have. I dont' feel any more. not happy not sad not anything. just whatever. I wish there was someone I can just hold onto for a very long time.
9/7/05 Well, i guess i can deal with it.. as long as i can hold on....... on the better half, my neck stopped hurting and i got a hair straightner. I don't know why... but if my hair look ugly.. i feel ugly and if my hair feels great, i have more confidence. the only time i have to myself is at school.... when i'm at home it's so frustrating dealing with my parents and sisters. Sometimes i wish i can just stay at school forever. I don't have any privacy at home and when i want to talk to my friends at night i can't because they are always wondering what i'm doing. So i just sit around the house doing nothing! =( The only time i can talk to my friends is at school during the day time and their like busy or something... And i hate to bother them like that. So i stay at school doingnothing but study and it's boring! I want to go play again... but i don't want to watse money. i need to save up for important things that might come up. I'm so frustrated.
