Where do I start to write what I learn? You know how people mention how your life will turn out depends on the decisions you make today? It's true. I decided how to deal with someone who hurted me. I don't want to hate them for it. Because that takes too much negative energy. And it'll all be wasted energy. I learned that long ago. It's much easier to let things go than try to change/fix something you can't control. But this person was close to me and I can't let it go lightly because I still value what we had. So I thought, I can still at least respect this person as I would a stranger. I forgive this person but it doesn't mean I want to be friends with them again. I want to respect myself and stay away from people like that. I can't let myself be treated that way and let them think it was okay. Because it was not. I know my intentions were well in our friendship. But now knowing their friendship was underhandedly selfish, I felt used and in the end abused. Its depressing really, but that's ok. We live and we learn. I hope this person will learn also and be a better person with all their friendships and relationships in the future. I still hope the best for them because I know the good they have instilled in them. I feel my part in their lives are over and we should all move along but still cherish the good times we had. Its a lesson learned. No, it can not be salvaged because 1. It will never be the same again. 2. The more you try the worse it gets. So it's best to let go and learn from it. As I grow older, I want to deal with these life blunders in a much simpler way and also in a well mannered way. View the situation as a whole big picture and not just at the moment. Although it did ended abruptly, I can not change that. But what I can do is decided how I want to deal with this. So here I am. I felt my friendship with her did not enlighten me in life during the friendship. Only the breakup was where I learned the most. I learn that people are different and you must accept that everyone is different. I didn't know what arrogant meant. To me, when we were arguing I confused it with ignorance. I had to look up arrogance and read into it. Omg, it takes one to know one I guess. The hypocrisy in it all, she's the arrogant one. I guess that's why it's in her vocabulary. As for me, I have a case of ignorance. But I view my ignorance as a blessing because I'm easily a happy person. I was told this by a nun with much respected wisdom that I have a simple mind. I lived with her for two years and she said it's a blessing because she knew I was always happy. A few years later I was told by a different person the same exact thing. I'm a happy person because my head is wired in a way to block certain things. And honestly I recently realized this about myself even when it was told to me many times. I don't know how I do it either, it comes naturally. I think it is also the reason why I can do what I need to do as a respiratory therapist. So I thank God and view it as a blessing. I deal with life as it comes to me. And because of this friendship, I know how to deal with arrogant people. Treat them with respect and always be kind. Yeah and hope that it will rub off on them. =)
