3/24/2007

12:39 AM 3/24/2007
today i went out with liem. we went to kanno's for lunch and ate sushi. it was good. and after that, we went to hoa's place. just chilling and talking. me and liem are going out again on sunday. sometimes i can't stand how liem is. so unromantic, but somehow, i'm still fond of him. he's a nice guy, can't go wrong with him. he'll never cheat right? no. but i can't expect alot from him either, but i wish he become a great person with ambitions and goals and want to be a man. and yes i think the guy should do everything. he sucks anyways, he wouldn't do it even if he knows he should and most definitely won't do it even if i really want him to. i never got flowers from him. not even candy. i think he's saving those tricks for when i'm mad and he wants to apologize. that won't happen. if he does, i'll throw it back at him. i know he usually doesn't buy flowers or candy, so i won't accpet them under those circumstances. if he wants to give me flowers.. do it on a special day, but if he's nice, he'll give flowers just because i want flowers. i have work tomorrow, so i'm going to sleep now. by the way, full house is good.12:53 AM 3/24/2007

3/22/2007

1:03 AM 3/22/2007
I failed a general chemistry test today... why can't i understand it?!?!?! i hate chemistry. Organic is fine. i don't know why i have so much difficulty with the general chemistry?!?!?!?!? Anyways, i'm going to find out my results from biology tomorrow. and i have to do homework for recitation too. Did i write about cardio pulmonary? well, i think i'm in the program, but i'm not sure yet, three more weeks. I drove chanh thu home today and visited fudgie and chino. fudgie is pregnant again. i told thu about cardiopulmonary. i haven't seen liem in so long, since his birthday.. Our sixth month is pretty boring. next month is seven. i have no idea what to do with liem. i still like him, i mean i don't dislike him. he's just whatever, yeah he's my boyfriend, who's not really my boyfriend. it's weird... is this it? i wish there can be more. i wanna do something. for us. romantic?! tried that, didn't really work. just died off.. he didn't try anything yet. i wish there was more between us. don't you feel something's missing between us?! like sparks? like excitement? like very cool feeling? i want that. i don't know. by the way i hate work. so much drama, and i don't like danny. he's a goody two shoe. i don't like him. after i get done with lab, i'll never see him again, except for work!! good lord! he's such a jerk. JERK. to everyone!! no wonder everyone don't want to work with him. why can't he be fired and leave us alone. i been getting better at work, still practicing to make good smoothies, but i know most of the recipes. man, the main thing i'm scared of is cardiopulmonary program. i can't believe i got in. but they're still doing interviews and maybe i won't get in. i hope i do though. i want to do something in my life. or at least start on it. i have no idea what ig ot myself into, but it seem like i can do it. but I'm scared my chemistry grade isn't going to cut it. it's a C right now and it may have gone lower. to a D which is what i deserve in this course. I need help. i need help. and i need to go to the dentist. i really do. but i can manage without dental care, which isn't too healthy. but it kinda helps me control my eating habits. i eat small portions now. since i eat slower, i should eat less. i want to start exercising again, but the treadmill broke. let's try it tomorrow and see. oh yeah, i lost my id too. should i get a new one? yeah.. i need to go to the resource center and watch chemistry videos too. i have no idea what i'm doing in there.1:22 AM 3/22/2007

I'm Nervous

Something's come up. It's very unexpected, but I'm transferring schools and changing my major. I didn't want to talk about it, but I really have to Unload somewhere. I'll open up soon to everyone about it, not now. It's happening all so quickly I can't even believe it. But it's still uncertain though. I still have to wait about three weeks to know if I'm in or not. And if I do, I'll start this summer after the spring semester is over. I can't beleive I'm making a big step into my future. I'm moving on up.... Reaching for a doctor degree looked impossible, but now, it looks acheiveable. I think I can actually make it! Slowly but surely. One step at a time. = I'm so scared for my future. I can't beleive I'm growing up. Being more serious and taking control of my life. And possibly having responsibilities of other people's life. Am I ready for it?! Can I take all of life's pressure and step up to plate?! I don't know for sure, But I'm going headforwardly to the best I can be. Wish me luck. It's going to be intense. It's going to be life altering. It's more than I ever expected. I'm so scared. I wish I was young forever.

3/15/2007

10:44 PM 3/15/2007
Tomorrow is my interview with lsu. I'm not nervous as i thought i would be, but i will be tomorrow. How prepared can i be? I don't know what to expect. i have no idea how an interview is like. i didn't even expect to go this far. I thought i had to be more experience and know more about cardiopulmonary to be able to even be considered. Honestly, this is my first real interview for anything, and i have alot to learn. I'm trying my best and hope that's good enough. i did the application and i did it neatly. and i have status reports and i'm going to send thank-you notes after the interview. Be polite. say thank-you and nice to meet you. try to remember names and faces. wear appropriate clothes and just be yourself. dear Jesus, how will it be tomorrow? good or bad? easy or hard?

3/11/2007

11:19 PM 3/11/2007
Today liem called me. it was kinda weird. he told me hang called him and they went eat lunch at dong phuong and says she had problems. i told him i usually call him on mondays after work and sometimes friday. he told me about his tutor kids and how bad the little boy is. He said something about... if he don't call me i don't like it and when he does call me i don't like it either. what should he do?! i don't know what to say. because usually i call him, he never calls me. he ask me why i'm all weird about it. i told him i was okay, that i don't care if he calls or not. maybe i'm being weird about it because he doesn't understand. it's not that he doesn't call but the time i wait for him to call. he sucks. He also asked if i was gonna be on campus this friday. but i told i wasn't. because my interview. Yeah, Cardiopulmonary sent me a letter to go to an interview, and rescheduled it for this friday at 10 am. I'm a little nervous, but i don't to have high hopes and not get in. So let's see what happens. I haven't tols anyone but anna and thao-vi and some people at work. I want to tell liem, but nah, i don't want to get high on hopes and get devastated. I made an 82 on my second organic test. And this wednesday is my physics midterm. and then on tuesday is my biology second test. i don't know when the next chem 1018 tests would be but i knowi'm not doing too good in there. and it's my second time taking this course. I suck at chemistry. anyways, i don't think i should go for cardio pulmonary because i have no idea what i'm in for. but i thank God for this blessing anyways. Who knows i might like it. it just may be my calling. okay, i wanan go to sleep, let's see what else i can write. I downloaded some chinese songs. it's very good! i like it. i haven't been watching phim tau like i do anymore. I finished my physics homework and chemistry homework tonight, I'm glad. but i have a bunch to go. Tomorrow i have to go to organic and take notes and look at my test. I made a B! i want to make an A next time. I get to drop one test grade and i want it to be the 71. that's average and i can drop that one. i also have to print out study guides for my physics and start on some of them to see how the exam's gonna be. Oh yeah, organic recitation counts as 10% of the class grade for just attending. =) so that helps. i should be able to do fine. why do i have so much trouble with general chem? Anyways, after that i have to read for biology lad on tuesday and after that write up a lab report and do my physics midterm when i go home that night. SHould i do it at home or go to school? It's kinda creepy right? Man i need to write how i get my chapter 12 and 13 answers for those webassignments. But i think i'll do fine. i should really do the study guides. the last day to go on it is the 16, which is this friday but my test is this wednesday so i should really start on it. can i do it tomorrow? i can't i'll be so busy. Wait it hink i can. after organic i straight away and do physics so imma bring my physics book and notebook. okay i need to go to sleep now. i like these chinese songs. imma play them when i drive to school tomorrow.11:32 PM 3/11/2007

3/1/2007

10:24 PM 3/1/2007
So, today i found out how much i need to study for organic. I'm just going to use the old exam to study from and know what i need to know. But it's not always enough. It's harder than i thought. anyways, i need to do my physics homework. Today i'm gonna finish this movie, i also watched The Art of Seduction with the same actress in A moment to remember. it was okay not as good as a moment to remember. I tried watching summer scent and full house too, but the story line in the beginning is too boring. Well, summer scent takes too long to watch. So i'll stick with phim tau. anyways. i finished maiden's vow. it was good too. well, at least the first generation. Anyways, that-vi is watching threshold of an era. and i think that movie is not worth watching. She forwards half the movie. what a way to watch it. i guess it's because she watched it before already, so it's not that good. I saw theresa and dat today and they asked me about the semiformal for tomorrow night and vi did too. Today trang is so pretty. She doesn't try hard, and yet she's so pretty. it's her caual being that makes her so pretty. Diem is a lucky boy. chanh thu is looking good herself too! I'm glad we're all growing up and looking it too. As for me, i look sloppy and sloppier everyday. i feel like school is making me fat and lazy. LOL. oh wait that's me. I'm scared of getting high cholestrol man. Hong has it, and she might create a diabetes too. I'm scared for her, but i bet she's watching everything she eats now. How will her kids be like? since nhan family has high cholestrol and hong does too. It's gonna be hard. i want to go to the dentist, but no money plus i have credit card bills. I think i have to mail off the old one from last month. Wait, i can buy a money order and mail it with the new statement this month. I'll get a money order for 125 dollars. that's all i can afford. i didn't ask mom and dad to pay me for the grocery i got for the house yesterday. Oh well, they been paying for my credit card bill too. Plus, i got a laptop now. i wonder if i save different files under different names will take more space than me saving all in one notepad document? i guess since i've been doing it this way, i'll stick to it. anyways, time to turn in for the night. 10:34 PM 3/1/2007

3/1/2007

11:48 PM 2/28/2007
in a few days would be me and liem's six month anniversary. i don't he'll care. why do i think about him so much while he doesn't give a damn about me? Am i being foolish? why do i like him so much? if he ever do anything worng to me. i will surely break up with him. if he cheats on me, i'll be smiling and definitely walk away happy. knowing that i deserve better and he proved it. so he should never ever cheat on me! damn, but i would be hurt, but i'll be fine. he'll just give me a reason to break-up with him. right now, i don't think there's a good reason to break-up with him. so i'm staying with him. I believe he's a good guy and won't hurt me. I mean he's okay. he can be my boyfriend. so that's good enough. and i can be his girlfriend too. i know he likes me. well, not enough though. i wish he like me more and express his feelings to me more. he keeps it to himself, which in turn causes me to hold back my feelings too. I guess we're not ready for a serious relationship and i'm glad we took it down a notch or three. LOL. maybe i'm better off being single. well, not really, because then it would be different. he would never know how much i feel for him. so i'm glad we are together. at least i'm not sad or miserable about how much i love him and he doesn't know it. he suck at being a boe's pretty honest. i saw hyfriend though. but i still like him. how he played liar's dice. he's a honest player. i know all his moves. he kinda slow huh? just like hoa said about ox's. but i don't want to be superstitious. and plus. i told her that me and liem aren't as serious anymore. which is goo dbecause i need to focus on school anyways. and if mom and dad ever worry about me and liem. that'll be so weird because i thought they don't want me to date? they keep telling me about my weight and about how i look for my boyfriend. isn't that not what they want me to think about? and focus on school?! how weird. they are so weird. so what do they really want me to do? i'm glad i have liem as my boyfriend that takes me out occasionally. that's good so that my parents aren't on my ass like they used to be. I guess they're are lil more lienent now. i just have to know my limits. i guess liem was right when he said i have to do it first so that they'll get used to it. but i still want to take things slowly and wait for some more time until i let him meet my mom and dad. It's still too soon i think i really want to pass a few more courses and see what i can do with my degree before i actually think about a more serious relationship. it's nice to have a boyfriend. he's not the #1 boyfriend but he's a good one and that's good enough right? i wish he can be a better boyfriend, hopefullly in time he'll become better. and do things for me. maybe my family will see how well he treats me and like him more. better than do nothing right? or is it better to do nothing now and do something later. Rather than do something now and be even better and better as our relationships become more serious. He's a lil too smart. i don't like it if he's doing that. he's lazy and doesn't try. and always take the easy way. Sigh I'm thinking too much. okay i'm boutta call it a night. 12:09 AM 3/1/2007