And Again

What was i thinking? Now, it's so different. I'm staying with liem because i really do love him, and i'm trying my best, but i'mnot going to be stupid and spend money on him, he doesn't want to either, both are scared we will get hurt and when we do break up it will be hard. like Chi Juie still paying off her credit card bills from her stupidity from trung and david. I can't believe it, i guess it makes them more wise abotu their moneyy. And i should too. i won't give in to that. especially with liem. There's alwys an open chance that we will hurt each other. But i hope i don't hurt him andi hope he doesn't hurt me, but it we were to get hurt, i would rather be hurt than hurt him. i reall ylove him. I shouldn't have pressured him the way i have.... because lord knows he doesn't pressure me in any uncomfortable way. and he doesn't make me do anything that i don't want to. Only i want to. Like kissing him and hold his hands and talking to him everyday and spending money on him. He doesn't want me to but i do. But now it's different. i won't have to spend cause i'm not ready to give my all to him. and it was him that made me realize that. i'm still trying to learn more about him and learn from mistakes and appreciate him. and grow in love with him. we argued for the first time. but we still have fun too. it's weird how we can be so mean to each other but love each other so much. without kissing though. we hold hands hugs and looks and talk. i took a risk yesterday and i'm glad i did. it was from God's grace that granted me that courage and idea to do. it will always be memorable even if we break up but more that we will remember it and still be together.