It's amazing how much I've grown and learned in such a short period of time. And I'm still learning more! This is what I wrote ten days ago. Who would've thought I'd be here making adult decisions. Decisions that will affect the rest of my life. I'm doing pretty well. I think. Just broke up with my boyfriend whom I still love. I probaly should be the saddest girl. But i'm okay. I'm not at my greatest, but I'm doing better than I thougth I would. He does consume my thoughts alot, but eventually he will fade away, in time. I need time for myself. Yeah, that's what I will do. At least my heart doesn't ache anymore. I got my heart back. He doesn't hurt it anymore. I won't let him. It's just my mind... and its memories. And the "could have beens" this christmas will past too. As long as I get through this christmas... no more wondering about the what ifs. because it didn't and won't. I still have some hope... but it'll die out soon. I'm going to stop believing in us. Stop loving him. And stop thinking about him. Oh yeah, the New York trip got cancelled. maybe another time.
November 28, 2007 (myspace)
I think I'm going to stay single for a while. When i graduate. i think i want to move away from my family and try to live on my own. I think I want to go to houston. I heard from lsu alumi's that they make good money over there working as an RT. And i can get an apartment, maybe live with some girl friends i have over there like Julie or Trang. they're great and i lived with them before. I can help support them if they need to finish school or do whateveer they need. I have family over there too. my cousin huggies lives with her older brother while going to school for dental hygiene. but i migth not want to live with them though. i want to be on my own. this is just a thought for the next two years or so. gives me a new outlook on life. see what i want to do for the rest of my life. I think it'll give me a chance to get away from my family here in NO. I've been letting them influence my way of thinking. I just need to get away from them, after i graduate of course. They probably will not understand and be mad. but I think i'll be old enough to do my own thing and make my own choices. since i'll be single, no one is going to influence me but myself. any decision i make will totally on my own. no regrets. just moving along. i need to get away from new orleans too... see the world a little bit more. been thinking about going on that new york trip with linda and thao-vi fro the holidays. I think i might go. I'm going back to work right after finals and taking more hours to help Sarah out at smoothie king. and the money would be spent on the trip. i just went to the dentist tuesday and she fixed my teeth. =) it's very pretty! so since i'm not with liem anymore. I gotta think differently, for my own now. not for us anymore. I know we had plans together.. but it's not going to happen. we had our differences and couldn't make things work out. Things change and it will keep changing. It'll take time for me to get over him again. but eventually i will.
