So I ate alot today. I ate after the time limit too. Crawfish season is back. =( I can't help it. It was so good. Anyways, so I haven't been writing the past few days because I was a little busy. I didn't even have time to write Nga the email about my partying weekend. But I will. and I need to shower too. I feel dirty after eating all that juicy crawfish. I didn't go to the gym today either. I did the opposite, stayed home and ate with my family. I also took naps wiht my little niece today too. She came over and it's been a while since I babysat her. I love her so much. She's growing so much and so fast! But all in all, I had a Fat day. And it's not even Mardi Gras yet!
So, I'm going to the gym tomorrow by myself because Xuan went to Chicago this weekend. And I didn't ask Thu to join me because I don't think she really enjoys it, and she doesn't really need to. I went to the Gym on Earhart on Tuesday. I didn't like their old elliptical machines. It doesn't have the programs like the one on Veterans. I saw Son monkey at the gym on Wednesday and said hello. On Thrusday, I did yoga with Thuy Tien! We talked alot too. Shared alot of unexpected things. She knows my biggest secret, but I know hers too. I can't beleive how fast and easily I made friends with her and trusted her with such things. I hope this new found friendship doesn't end in catastrophe. I guess my past experiences has affected my views on people. But I shouldn't let it get in the way. I'm quickly trusting people, and I don't know if I should. But I'm willing to take some risks. She's seems like a good person. So, yeah... we did yoga together. Then afterwards we went to TjMaxx and got me a Yoga mat. It was about time I invested in one. When I was giving her a tour of the gym, we bumped into Huy Duong again. He knows Tien too. Had a little chat. and I gave Huy a rub down of his muscles. I wasn't afraid of what people thought. Damn, that boy is fine. Plus, it was all fun and jokingly funny anyways. He know he looks good. Anyways, before gym that day, I went to Ton's house again, and we just watched House. I didn't want to stay home and be lazy. I think, as long as I don't go home, I'm less likely to eat and be lazy. We planned on going Sushi Brothers today but cancelled instead. Which I'm kinda glad because there's traffic from parades and stuff. He also told me UNO VASA people were meeting there for the parades. I was kinda excited to see them, but the traffic and parallel parking bothered me. I suck at it. We can go another time.
Okay, so here goes. I've been thinking alot about Ton. He's always been there for me when I need someone to talk to. I hate to take advantage of him, but we've known each other for so long. He's the other person who knows my biggest secret. He was the first and only person I told right when it happened a little over a year ago. My friendship with Ton is kind of confusing now. Why did I speand so much time with him this past week? Do I like him? I don't know how to explain it. The big thing: we've been friends for so long, it's weird if it were any different. Is there an attraction?! Maybe, but it might be for the wrong reasons. I can't see myself being with him in that way. He seems like a perverted guy to me. But he's just a friend and I should be understanding to him, cause he is my friend right? But sometimes I think he wants to be more than that or maybe that's how friendly he is to any girl. I'll admit, I like the attention and the touches he tried to advance on me. Sorry, I've been lonely. So, I tried to imagine and actually put my heart and thoughts to him when spending time with him this past week. And I don't know. It's just no spark. And I can't help it. But I really do appreciate him for being there. He is a really nice guy, under all the crazy nasty sex jokes. Which is not a way to sweep a girl off her feet. Sure it's funny but it's also a turn off for me. And I don't want to lead him on. So I gotta tell him right? Will that be unfair? because he always thought we were just friends and that he didn't know I was trying to give him a chance with me. Or just forget all together and spare the awkward conversation and still be friends like we are. I think we can spare it. I think I'm just overthinking it. And I'm lonely. I wish I had a boyfriend. Now, I sound like a pathetic loser. A lonely girl. Who has a single guy in front of her... and we've been friends for so long. Huh? Classic isn't it? I'm stupid. Well, I know I don't have feelings for him that way. Even if I force it, it's doesn't feel right.
