New Year, New Leaf

2006
This is a chance for me to do something. I have resolutions this year.
-First is not going online too much, so today is my last day. If someone wants to contact me, my number is 504-717-0687. I'm going to stick to one site, this one, so not alot of xanga no more.
-Second, I want to lose weight, but wanting is not the same as doing it. Dear God help me with some will power. I'm going to lose weight!!
-Third, Be nicer. Some people think i'm nice, but I don't think I am. I'm very selfish and inconsiderate of other's feelings. I need to learn to put myself into other's people shoes. I have to stop blurting out the wrong things.
-Lastly, I need to be smarter as in Street Smart. When i have to learn it the hard way, I will. Need to be quick and think smart and be wiser.

By the way, I'm going to write in my pen/notebook journal from now on. It's more private and more meaningful to me than typing things on the internet for the public to see. Okay, I feel bad that I won't be sharing anymore things about my life to friends anymore, but i don't want to seem conceited. I'm going to read about their lives more than I write about mines. Either way, writing in a notebook seem more real to me. like people always say, keep it real. And i'm going to keep it real by writing in a journal notebook. What got my starting to post journal entries all over the internet in the first place? oh well, i have too many journal places, and i need to stop it, losing track on entries here and there and who's on which journal site. However, I'll keep my membership on it, but only with the intent to keep in touch with friends. other than that, I got one thing to say to end this, Keep it real people.

Holidays In FL

Oh yeah, i went to Florida yesterday. and today.. my body is sore!!! I played dodgeball with the boys and had fun!! then at night we went bowling. I did pretty good! Most of my balls hit the pins. No strikes though. =( i had a couple of spares. I finally made 100 points! then we went to waffle house and we saw a live Jerry Springer show. LOL! yea, that's about it. I'm going to really miss those boys, who knows when we'll see each other again. It was great seeing Sean this time, i haven't seen him in years. Paul, next time i'll give you a long massage okie dokie?!

Merry Christmas!!

Isn't it great spending Christmas day with our families? Spending christmas with family is very cool to me. I wanted to go out with my friends, but my parents wouldn't let me out at night since New Orleans is not the same anymore, It's too dark and creepy or whatever they say. Oh well, I'm pretty used to not going out anymore. dude, I think I'll never go out again. Anyways, my grandma is getting really sick, I haven't mentioned this but she was in the hospital last week. fortunately, she went home after two days there. She needed a blood transfusion, but decided not to do it, turned out she's fine and back in New Orleans for good now. So that means it's just me and my two little sisters at the apartment. I really want to stay home in New Orleans though. My house is so beautiful!!! I dont' want to Leave. The greatest Christmas gift ever..... a beautiful room!! I love my house more than ever! It may looks crappy on the outside, but on the inside, it's very nice and warm. My lil sis forget to bring the picture loading string, so imma have to wait til i get back to laffy to upload the pictures.

Home for Christmas

there's no feeling better than going home for Christmas. Going home later today in the evening. They didn't put up the Christmas tree yet, so i guess me and my little sisters will put it up tonight. Merry Christmas Everyone! and a Happy New Year!




This is my house right now. The renovations are looking real good. I'm so proud of my dad working so hard fixing up our house. It looks so nice!

if the pictures doesn't show just click on it and it'll bring you to the webpage.

Personal Entry

So, Being true to myself. I must write all that I'm feeling. although it may not be clear but i need to help myself understand all that i'm going through right now. My feelings for liem is gone but like i still think about him alot. i don't know why. I'm worried and don't understand anything that's going on between us. i'm so lost and confused everytime something happens between me and liem. What am i supposed to do. I can't love him anymore. because simply, i feel he's not the one. Maybe because i think he's boring and not romantic as i want him to be to me. He's a lil strict and highly demanding, like things should go his way and nothing else. all the questions he asks is ef-ing me over. why doesn't he tell me straight up and get it done and over with. I want him to be brutally honest with me, even when he feels like he can't be. He's so hard to talk to now, we're so distant. so, I think his feelings for me are real, because he said something like -why would he want for me to be with someone else, when he wanted to be with me. *wish i could take back whatever i said to make him say that* But i feel like he's not telling me things i need to know. Jimmy told me that liem wrote a letter to Ngoc like he did to me, but she didn't respond to it yet. Whatever Jimmy told me about his letter to Ngoc, i don't want to beleive it because it may be different from mines. hang told me he was fine and that he was getting drunk! but that isn't important. is he screwing me over?! what did he want from me?! Really?! what was his intention in the first place? Ugh I can't believe what Jimmy told me is getting to me. He said that Liem is a late bloomer of his sexuality. yeah, he may be Gay. But i told Jimmy that liem's feelings for me a real. And somehow he convinced me that his feelings for a girl was real too, but really he learned later on that He's gay. Jimmy told me that one time during hgih school liem and him talked on the phone for a long time and liem wanted to stay up and talk longer. Jimmy said that straight guys don't do things like that to other guys. Oh god! am i going Nuts?! well, him and Jimmy don't talk much so i really don't want to rely on his opinion about liem. i trust myself about liem more than what other people may say about him.

i know many times i say -not only to liem but other to guys too- that i'm not ready for a boyfriend. But that's the truth. i'll never be ready to have a boyfriend. I'm not girlfriend material, but i won't let it stop me from trying. i'm still trying to find the guy to do that with. I'm kinda working on one right now. His name is Loi aka Charming. i want to tell him i like him but then i'm scared it'll ruin what we have right now. I don't know! relationships are so complicated. i know i should really tell him that i like him but what happens if he doesn't like me back. Fuck. then okay i can accept the dude is not interested, but from then on, things are not going to be the same anymore. and he said it himself just like i did, that we both are not ready for a boyfriend/girlfriend. His is time and money, and me just simply because i'm emotionally unstable and would rather focus on school. and he told me himself that when he once told the girl that he liked her, things went badly. and he wants to learn from that and want to keep things interesting without the verification that they liked each other, because maybe they simply do. i'm counting on that.

when i first met him, i didn't think about him much in this way. i just enjoyed the time we sat with each other and just talked. That i adored very much about him but didn't think of it much. we we're just very good friends. also, i was kinda talking to Paul during this time. I told Loi about Paul too! and you know what... he said something that kinda made me think twice about Paul. he said to really think things over and that when you like someone you'd do anything for them and this whole analogy thing about sparks/fireworks and he asked if paul told me that he like me. and i lied to him and said yes because i didn't want to feel bad that paul didn't. i was kinda geting a hint that Loi likes me but i couldn't beleive it and just let it go in one ear and out the other. Maybe because i felt that it was wrong of me to kick the thing i have betwee me and paul away. by the way, me and Paul agree to be friends shortly after we began to get closer. I never let Loi know about that because we're just friends right? later on, when Loi and i stopped talking, i realized how much i Liked him. Yes, i finally like him. Then i recall all the times when he called just to talk. He was the only guy that called me that much. He called me rigth after i got out of work. he called me three times in one week in a row. We talked into the wee hours. and i remember that he once stayed outside in the cold just to talk to me! he shared his xangas with me before he even post them. silly Loi, he writes out his post with pencil and paper before he put it on the computer. He talks about food alot. and he shared with me things about his ex girlfriends. How could i be so Blind?!

It was end of the school year at Mikimoto for his friend's birthday party that i spent some time with him and started growing feelings for him. I think it wasn't just a crush anymore now. Then there was one time at a BSC bbq back to school party that me and him really became closer. This was also the time when i ended my feelings for liem for good. but as the summer went by, i lost touch with him and thought that it was only a stupid crush and my feelings for him were just a fantasy i lied to myself that they were real. I mean, he's very hard to get and i'll never have a chance with him and really need get over myself and move on. So the first week of school I really need to be away from him because all the feelings i have for him are growing stronger and i couldn't handle it because i thought we could never hit it off. I really distant myself from him, and when i saw him sad because i was being cold to him and not myself towards him, i felt bad. i thought i just needed to be away from him to stop the stupid crush and i thought maybe later on when i feel much better we can just be friends again like we were. During that week i saw him at least once everyday and everyday he asks me if i wanted to go and eat lunch with him and stuff. i'm thinking this guy is so nice! Is he just asking me because that's what he would ask any girl?! Oh Yeah, i found out he became friends with Thao and he was having so much fun with his group of friends which included hotgirl Lisa. As for me, i was left out and I wanted to get over him because he's just a crush! I felt... Ugh! the feelings that are churning up inside are becoming out of control. Ahh!! why is he so Hot?! But either way, i was busy everytime he asked me to go, i needed to pick thao-vi up from school. I coudn't beleive i had feelings for such a guy like him. maybe i don't want to tell him that i like him because what he said was true, look what happened to me and paul.

Then the hurricane came and ruined our lives. Then It all went down from here. my life is changed forever. I thought me and Loi will never be. and to make matter worse, he was staying with his new friends and Thao was one of them. I envied her having the chance to spend more time with him and she may realize what a great guy he is and fall for him as i did. I couldn't take it anymore and called thao up. I wanted to know if anything is hapening. But to my surprise. I was all wrong. i asked her if she was talking to anyone, she said she is not. But in return, she asked me if there was something going on between me and loi. I have no idea why she knows about my feelings for him. Either she must be psychic or i think Loi told her. I don't talk to Thao very much about my life and she couldn't have ever known that me and Loi used to talk. I think Loi told her about me and him. And to have him mention me to antoher girl like Thao, means something right?! I think he likes me! So during the Huriicane. I called him up. i never told him about that conversation i had with Thao, but i did told him i talk to her. So that's when i was okay of liking him. The only bad thing is that we don't see each other. I dont' call him alot anymore, because he's having fun and i don't want him to be sad about me. He's a very optimistic person and really everytime i talk to him he makes me feel better. But then i think i'm getting annoying to him. So once in a while i call him up. And sometimes he calls me. I wish it was better than this, but due to the situation, I can't. But He's a very understanding person and he's very easy going, so somehow i find comfort that everything is okay when i'm with him. I want to thank God for letting me have such a great person to help me through this ordeal. i know Loi is there for me and i want to be there for him too. I pray for him, that's all i can do fro now. I want to give this relatinoship a try when i get back to N.O. well, if he wants to take that step with me. i want it to turnout well, it'll be very new to me and he can help me get through it, together.

Truly Friends

i don't know where to start. So out of the blue one day, he called me. First time on my cell. i thought he just wanted to talk and catch up on somethings. I was wrong, it was more than that. he called to tell me to read an e-mail he sent. I was getting nervous, and had a feeling what it was about. it was something i knew i had to go through with sooner or later.

i know people would think of all the stories they read about how they should tell the person they love that they love them before it's too late. Well, this is not a fairy tale. He told me he had nothing to lose and wanted to know if i still had feelings for him. he still cared for me and he thinks about what it would be like if we were still together. He wrote alot of little memories here and there and how much i mean to him.

I'm grateful this happened, because it cleared some of my thoughts that i had trouble with these past few years. i wanted so bad to still have feelings for him, but i couldn't feel anything in my heart. I had to tell him the truth about my feelings. that was the only thing i could do. it was the right thing to do. he said something about being childish, i didn't understand what he meant. okay so he needed me to spare the details and tell him if i liked him or not. Maybe it was like a -take me now or lose me all the way- kinda deal. What did he wanted me to say?! It's kinda childish of him to say that. Because i want to settle the situation in the best way possible. we need to quit lying to each other to make each other feel better or whatever. Am i supposed to say that i too still liked him and i wanted to be with him?! And start our relationship off with a lie?! No, i wanted to be friends. I like to build relationships on friendship. and to make it worse, i feel like we're not even friends in the first place. I told him I'm sorry, and that i moved on. If only he told me sooner things will be different. I wanted to know what was going in his mind, why he wanted to tell me this now. and i told him about this page too, and it's not going to be a surprise if he reads this.

he asked me if i wanted to work things out. Where do we begin to work at? Should we start over?! we could... but our past will still haunt us. Can we pick up where we left off?! no because it would never be the same. So i just wanted to be friends and get to know each other again, cuz lord knows we're both different people now. And who knows, we can laugh about our stupid past and go on with our lives.

he asked me how do i know it's not going to work if i didn't try. he asked me this before a long time ago. did i tried?! at first i didn't but later on i think i did. well, if he do like me that much, he would do anything for me. but I was the one who actually got him out to places with me, while i really didn't want to because i wanted him to do that. frist one was to the mall. and we talked about orchids alot. i wonder how does he ask girls out?! I don't know he never tells me. besides the point, i tried and i waited for him. I made it possible this past year, it was like my last chance! i was single and i wanted to spend time with him. I came up to him during school just to talk. i made appointments to meet up with him for lunch. i wanted to have fun and enjoy each other's company and go from there. okay, so he wanted to be alone with me that day by the lake, i thought having someone close there would make him feel better. besides it was only his cousin and plus, she's a dear friend of mine. I had no idea what he was feeling but for me. it was like we were just friends and had alot in common and nothing much more. There's probably so much that was going on in his mind, and he didn't have the courage to tell me about his feelings. and i'm sorry he didn't.

i hardly understand him anymore. he doesn't open up to me. i still trust him til this day and tell him things about my life. I was being honest and told him everything that was going on. on the other hand, if i wanted to know something about him, i had to ask. Like what am i supposed to ask?! he says, what do you want to know?! I'm like... i don't know what i want to know. I was up for anything. I wanted him to open up to me. to trust me with anything he has to say. i wanted him to be honest even if he felt he couldn't because i couldn't handle the truth or whatever. Now i feel bad because he couldn't handle my truth.

back then, I told him about "this guy" that apparently became a good friend of mines today. He thought it was the reason why we broke up. oh yeah, that's why we did brake up! it's because of me, i told him the truth about talking to "this guy" and i like the way "this guy" talked to me. "this guy" was open to me and didn't feel any shame of the things he tells me. Til this day "this guy" and i are still good friends as we were back then. okay, so maybe "this guy" told me and everyone that he likes me, but we agreed to be friends. What the hell do people take me for, go from one guy to the next just like that?! besides, "this guy" can fall in love with a random girl walking down the street. Sounds bad but i still respect the dude and he's my friend for other good reasons. Okay, so maybe "this guy" made him feel that he can't be with me, but i think there's more to it than that. I mean how can you simply let the girl of your dreams slip away like that to "this guy".

I told him about Paul. that time by the lake he asked me if i liked Paul. i told him I don't know. Honestly, i really didn't know. i was speechless because i was trying to get over him. i also told him about not being ready for a boyfriend because if I did like Paul; it was for the wrong reasons. Paul reminded me of him, and it was wrong of me to do that to Paul. Paul is such a nice guy. so maybe this was a reason why he didn't want to tell me about his feelings yet because of Paul and me not wanting a boyfriend. But you gotta give me credit for being honest. i was confused and I was laying my heart out and needed someone, at least from a friend. that day i felt that he was there to listen to me like a friend would, i thought that was good enough from him. What more can i ask for? he's a good friend and we would always be friends and nothing more. who would of thought he still had feelings for me right then. If he could of take that chance to do something... it would be different.

So now, we're kinda arguing, and it's going to take sometime for him to call me up to finish this argument. Oh yeah, i want him to keep in touch with me because we're still friends. even though we maybe mad, but we need to work on being friends. he was a lil hesitant when i asked him if i can call him and vice versa, but it was for the sake of our friendship, it may seem bad right now, but i feel that if we get through this our friendship can only grow stronger and not worse as it may seem right now. so i'm waiting for him to call me. i know many times i say -not only to him but other to guys too- that i'm not ready for a boyfriend. But that's the truth. i'll never be ready to have a boyfriend. I'm not girlfriend material, but i won't let it stop me from trying. i'm still trying to find the guy to do that with. I'm kinda working on one right now.

There's someone new in my life. He's very charming. let's call him Charming. i told Him about Charming. Charming is the reason i'm still sane on this earth during this hard time after-Katrina. Charming is simply just there when i need to talk about anything. Charming is open to almost anything i have to say. Charming can talk a good deal too and he always make me laugh. I do like Charming very much and i have a feeling he likes me too. but we're not together though, As of right now, we keep in touch through phone calls. Anyways, this journal is not about Charming. i told Charm about HIM. Charm said that i should let Him down easy. but it was too late, because it already went badly. Anyways, Charm said that i shouldn't of told HIM to call me because that's leaving HIM mixed signals that there might still be an open window. Oops, I'm not really good with relationships as Charm is. Charm had Five Ex-es, Who could blame the guy, he's Charming. So i explained that i wanted to keep in touch with Him because i still consider HIM as my friend. Charming is understanding and told me the best thing to do is give HIM time. On the other hand, liem wishes me and Charming the best of luck and happiness with him. And it's not even like that. well sort of. i do want it to be happy with Charming but that's not the thing here. I asked him if he was waiting for me to move on so that he can also move on too. And being sweet as he is, he Was waiting for me to move on so that he can too. all i can say is, whoever ends up with Him is a very lucky person. i hope he knows he's a very great guy.

Who knows what's going on in his mind. He says he's been thinking about alot of things after this hurricane and i was one of them. There's so much going on in his mind that he's not telling me, and i don't understand what he's going through. He wanted to know how he feels in the end. What end?! i know there's so much he's not telling me. Maybe it's because of his male ego. Either way, i just want him to TRUST me and OPEN up to me. okay, so i may not be the perfect person to talk to, but i really care for him, and i know he cares about me too. We want good things for each other, even when it means: me being happy with some else and him being happy with someone else. See how good friends we are and not even know it!?! Someone asked me if He met someone new would i be jealous?! I wasn't jealous when he told me about Hong. I was Sad and i stayed calm. (post May 21, 2004) I didn't want to be jealous, because it's his happiness and being jealous won't make any difference about him liking her. It's been eight years since we've known each other and i can truly say we go way back. however, it's a shame i don't know anything about the guy i thought i loved. So if this is my chance to understand him, i'm so up for it. i hope Charming will be okay with this. because really, there's a risk of me falling for liem again. But really, I keep my heart in one place and I will not betray Charming because in reality I would only betray me and hurt myself. if i let my heart bounce from one place to another it'll be too painful to deal with compared to my heart being in one place, like it was for liem after so many years.

Once upon a December

My life is changing so much. it's to the point that my dreams of becoming a dentist will not come true anymore. i'm changing my major, or better yet, i'm not going to have a major. Somewhat like dropping out of college or something. Who would of thought, I would drop out of college. i really want to finish college with some kind of degree, but I don't know what. i really wanted to study to be a dentist. I'm so going through depression man. so far, this is the lowest point of my life. I'm taking a semester off from school. well, maybe.. i really want to keep my scholarship though, but i can't hold up to the grades or credits hours anymore. i have a rough time going to school. the little things adds up like parking, tuition bills, car rides, missing or being late for classes, and too stressed to pay attention in class. Maybe the new transition to the school was hard or all the sad news killed the spirit to study or maybe i'm just not smart enough. i think i messed up my life too much to fix it now. hopefully as the time pass, i will find strength to go back to school and finish it, even if it's not for a BS. i have no plans. my plan backfired and so did the rest of them i made just in case. What am i to do? i know friends tell me that i should cheer up and think of positive things. And i'm trying, but you can't be truly happy if it is forced. i'm going to take this time to think things over about my life. I feel so shitty right now. although my family may see that i'm fine, but really, i am not. they expected so much from me and now i can't deliver. that's why i'm so sad because i have to live with them. everyday they see me do nothing but waste my life away. And it's like I've grew apart from them, because we don't spend time with each other like we used to. it's like i lost my purpose to live. right now i'm just doing little errands and simply be there for my lil sisters when they need me. I'm not doing anything for myself, to better myself. i'm not even working. and i want to, but the time is difficult to manage since i'm needed randomly everyday. So work became out of the question. school came second for me and that's where i messed up ever since i started ULL. by the way, that school sucks. I work at my sister store though, but it's not really work. I'm just helping her out at the store. and she offers me pay, but who would take their sister's money like that?! And i really miss my friends. they're all so far away from me. i know some of them are going through something similar to me right now and can relate to me. But for some reason, i don't want their sympathy, because it seems like they're having fun with their life and won't understand. and i don't expect them to because I want them to enjoy their happiness and not to worry about mines. when i talk to them, i want to tell them the good things about my life, but there's not much to tell. and when i do talk abou my life, it's too depressing and i make them feel bad and they have no words ro reply with. they probably don't understand why i'm this way. i know i seem mad or pissed off at the world but i'm not, I'm just sad, and i just need everyone to be okay with me being sad, really... i'm okay with myself being sad. It's not pleasant, but i need this. don't be sad for me either, because it won't make it better. i kinda want to say "leave me alone" but honestly i so don't want to be alone. remind me of the happiness i once had. someday, i'll have it again.

Memoirs of a Geisha

Hey Everyone. Well, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We’ll my turned out to be Not extravagant as I wanted it. I had better Thanksgivings. I miss having everyone home for the holidays. It was last minute that we had to cancel our dinner plans since my dad and the guys didn’t want to come home for thanksgiving. Hopefully this weekend they’ll come home for a late thanksgiving dinner. But they’re probably not. I really miss home. I’m very grateful that I still have my family. Even though I don’t see them much, but that’s what makes me appreciate the time I have with them even more. I miss my dad telling me to get him a fruit or something from the fridge and bring him a small knife and a plate to put the peelings in. After he peeled it, he would ask us if we wanted a slice. These little things really do get to me. I miss having my family around. So every time he comes home I would ask him if he wanted something from the fridge instead. Last night when my mom asked us to pray nightly prayer, it just made me miss the times that I prayed with my whole family at home on our big comfy couch. We would sometimes get sleepy on it during prayer time too. It really sucks during the holidays over here, right now. Nothing beats the Holidays in New Orleans. Nothing beats New Orleans period.



Anyways, I had another embarrassing moment last week. My car didn’t want to start. It was very aggravating because I didn’t know what to do and look like an idiot. But it was okay, I was only stuck out there for about 45 minutes or so until my brother in law came to help me out. Now I know how to jump start a car. Another one on my accomplishment list, next to changing flat tires. Also, during the week I lost a lot of money. I don’t know how but I’ll be more careful now. This was my first time losing so much money man! But it’s okay because my sister said something in Vietnamese that means, “you’d rather lose money than a person.” (cua thay di nguoi) Which means everything happens for a reason… when you lose an earthly possession; it was a trade from losing a member of your family. I guess everyone who lost their homes during Katrina, still have their family members right? As the week passed, I heard that the there’s people who wanted to make Versai into an Airport. It just made my week even worse. I think this is the lowest point of my life dude. But It’s okay…. I’m hanging in there. =) all smiles babes. Embarrassing moments can’t bring me down. I won’t let a few bad grapes spoil my wine. I have the people that loves me to pull me through this. Thank you Lord! Oh yeah.. been praying a lot more now too.. I been trying to do the whole rosary, but I always fall asleep during my last ten. Hopefully it don’t happen again, but I know Mary loves me



HmMmm… so I’m reading a very good book! It’s called “Memoirs of a Geisha.” This may sound familiar because it’s coming out into theaters in December. It’s like watching Phim Tau dude! Can’t put that book down. The main character has gray-blue eyes, just like me! Well, of course mines aren’t natural. But what a coincidence that her eyes are the same colors I liked for my eyes. This made me like it even more! This book kept me company on Thanksgiving Day. Thank God for good entertainment. This concludes my Thanksgiving entry. Dude, I’ve been writing such long entries, I hope I don’t bore you all.

5 Weird Things

Cisca (Mysterious_Dreamer), tagged me with those five weird things that i've been seeing everywhere. Now It's my turn!!This is so my topic! There's so many weird things about me that i don't know where to begin. And then there's some things that are just unexplainable... that's how weird it gets. okay, I'm officially weird. I think everyone has something weird about them. They're probably not weird at all, it just what makes them different from each other. So i'm not feeling all too bad of being weird. Just don't be weird of the same things, because it's not weird. Okay.. I'm weird huh?! Maybe I'm thinking too much and became weird... Anyways, here's my five weird habits, well, not actually habits, more like weird things about me.

Ground Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a xanga entry about their 5 queer habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their xanga IDs. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their xanga and tell them to read yours.

1. I hate peanut butter but I can eat Reeses's minature peanut butter cups. I hate how peanut butter taste and how it feel like clay in your mouth. I had a nightmare about it. I ate peanut butter and then it got stuck to my teeth so bad that when i tried to swallow it, i swallowed up my teeth too. So i pulled it out and then got peanut butter all over my hands and my teeth! I lost all my teeth and all i felt was my gums. What a nightmare. that's why I have a fear of losing all my teeth and that fear leads to why i want to be a dentist. Anyways, I think that Reese's peanut butter in the minature size cups are different. The texture doesn't feel like clay and it taste diffeent than the peanut butter from the brand Jif. Weird.

2. I'm catholic, But I AM for Abortion. Let me explain. At first I wasn't for abortion but then when I hear about how some people give abortions to themselves, like in an alley way, that just freaked me out. They end up aborting their baby with the risk of killing themselves too. So Maybe I am for abortion so that they don't perform an unsafe and dangerous abortion in their house or whatever. I mean the clinics or abortion centers may be allowed to offer their services. It's for a good cause right? Who knows how many lives they saved. But what I am against is the individual mothers who wants to abort their baby. That's why we should always encourage these mothers not to abort their babies. Maybe I should say I'm Pro-Life. The life of the babies and the mothers. So i guess that's not so weird.. Is it?!

3. In the back of my head, I think there's such a thing as VooDoo. So there's this keychain on my keys. And people always ask me what it's for. Well, it's a very long story about my family back in the days. My dad made everyone put that on our keychains and in our wallets. Since then, everything that happened to my family was not as bad as it did before. I think it has a protection spell on it or something, like in chinese movies. Anyways, I hear stories of how people go back to vietnam and get voodooed or whatever and they don't act like themselves. It hit home one time. My dad's bestfriend pretty much disrespected and ditched my dad, and they're like very close and he would never do such a thing to my dad. They both have Mad respect for each other. And when my dad figured that he's not acting himself, he found help through those people who cures voodoo, and it worked. My dad's best friend apologized and thanked him for helping him get through the ordeal. So I think VooDoo exists, although I won't rely on it as much as my dad does, because I do beleive in God. I don't know... I'm weird.

4. Sometimes my eyes shake like crazy when I stare at something for a long time. Like when i'm plucking my sister's eyebrows, and i keep my eyes focused on one spot for a long time, and all of a sudden.. my eyes shakes like crazy. It does it involuntarily and I can't control it. It do stop after like two seconds and I go, "Whoa, that's weird!" My sister says it never happened to her when she does my eyebrows, so i guess it's just me.... I'm weird.

5. I don't get embarrassed easily. I get embarrassed so much that it's like normal to me. I breathe embarrassment. My sisters always makes fun of me because i'm so weird. And the way they make fun of me it's so embarrassing! But who cares, I laugh at myself too. Even the convent girls had a kick outta themselves back in the days. I know I was slow at getting jokes and they just laugh because I don't get it. And i don't even know why they're laughing but who cares, I laughed too. Sometimes things I say are embarassing, like the time I called Paul his brother's name and not even know it. That was embarassing, sorry for that Paul. And then there's old geezers who tries to hit on me at work and then I try to be nice back to them and before i knew it, i'm getting embarrassed. I'm not good at the jokes with fun flirting phrases. Everyone laughed and then I finally understand what's going on and move along. And then there's things that happens to me, Like: bumping into a door or counter and getting brusies from it or tripping and falling on things.. that's embarrassing, but I pick myself up, laugh, and move along.

Enough of my weirdness, I'm tagging Loi_Tran, Y3llowazn, FlamenCold, L0NGstah, j2i0m0my3.

Lovingmeil exposed

For the first time I though about one subject for a long ass time. usually I think of things radomly, jumping from one thing which always leads to another thing. sometimes for fun, I even go backward with everything i thought about just to find out what i was thinking in the first place. But I see how people can do it now. they can think of one thing for a long time. It's like you have to concentrate and analyze every little thing that can mean something and how it affect your life. Well, I'm talking about thinking because I did alot of it this past weekend. something happened. Well, now that it's done and over with... i don't want to talk about it anymore.

Anyways, I think I feel like an adult now. Of course, I will be twenty-one in a couple of months. No offense to those who just turned twenty. I never do this but I guess this is my chance for November Birthdays.

1st-Thu Dinh(20),

11th-Bao Ngoc Le(19),

14th-Linda Mai Nguyen(16),

15th-David Nguyen(20),

17th-Nga Pham(20) & Nga Nguyen(20).

I hope I didn't forget anyone.

So, what's Up?! I'm planning Thanksgiving dinner. I've been cooking alot. Learning much more now than i did when I was in New Orleans.... i'm not cooking with my mom anymore... I miss her. She always do the real cooking, all i do is cut up stuff and stir the pot when she's done. Now I'm actually getting everything done on my own. Most of the time it turns out bad But I can always fix it, but the plus is that I'm getting better. practice makes perfect. I really want to learn how to make Pho. There's so much ingredients in the water. So, what do i know how to make?! This is just a rough list but I'm very proud that I can make all these stuff.

Bun Ham Ga, Bun w/ Cha Gio & w/ Nem Nuong & w/ Thit Nuong, Mi Wan Thanh, Chien Bo Banh Trang Cuon w/ beef and shrimp, Banh Trang Cuon w/ Boiled pork and shrimp, Mi Sao w/ vegies and beef or chicken, Bo Kho w/ Banh Mi, and there's the simple rice with some kind of meat and some kind of vegetable kind of meals. yesterday we ate rice with rau sao w/ beef and Thit Do Nuong (baked red flavored meat). There's a big list of american food... I made gumbo today, tomorrow we're planning to make lasanga. I like to make pasta. It's the easiest and tastiest. All these food, no wonder i'm so fat.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over these words right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad.. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) by what people remember about you.

Journals

I'm reading Chicken Soup for the Soul (5th Portion)... and boy do this book make you shed some emotional tears... Anyways, I have a question though... if you were to die soon and there is something you would leave behind that make your loved ones remember you by... what would it be?! Mines, my Journals. I have two of them filled up with memories and pictures already. I'm on my third one now. It has alot of things that happened in my life and everything that made me the person I am. The words written in my journal bares all of me -practically naked- and make my heart vulnerable to anything. That's why I keep it private unless I die or something. I kept a journal online about my first love. I just recent that I stopped writing in it. when I read back on those entries, it just shows how much I changed.

Linda

Linda! OLIVE YOU!



I Miss you Hunny Bunches of Oats! Whatever you're going through.... Don't forget to smile that beautiful smile of yours! You're a wonderful person and no one knows that better than you!

Quiet Reading

I just got done with a statistics test. Dude.... it was killer man. Last question was a tricky one I think. Why do teachers put a tricky question on the test for?! I just think they wanna screw us over.. and never give us a chance to achieve any goals we want.

Anyways, Tomorrow is my fall break... No school for me! What am I going to do?! i hope I don't have to watch my sister's store. I think I probably have to though.... she needs to go out of town again. So, here's my chance to finish that book I started on before Katrina. I never passed chapter three on that book yet....now I can have some quite time for me. I miss those days when I have quite time doing puzzles and reading books in my room alone. I'm sharing a room with my sisters now and the only time I have some alone time is like in the bathroom or something...... funny.

Chinh

I went back to New Orleans for the first time in 5 weeks. Dude, it stinks... I didn't want to stay long because there might be air-borne diseases floating around. Before we went back to Lafayette, we got some hot beignets and frozen au laits. Good Lord do I miss those. Thu called me yesterday and found out she's in Ohio. Haven't heard from her since Katrina.... and now she's an Aunt! Congratulations! I miss Thu very much man. Getting a call from her right before I went to sleep just made my day.

A new friend confided in me last night and had a heart-felt conversation. She's okay now. It lasted very long and my parents thought I was talking to a boyfriend or something. Never talked to anyone that long before..... It's a new friend (Chinh) I met here in Lafayette just three days ago. I do Believe in FATE (from Mary-Thao's Entry) because she and I can so relate to each other, seems like we're best friends or something and it's only been three days.

Can't forget... I got a phone call from Loi too... He's back in New Orleans.... So now there's hope to return to. It was a nice kick off to many conversations through the evening. I think having friends to give you a simple phone call can get you through alot. Thanks you guys!! I love you all!! Now it's my turn to call some people up.

Breathe

I'm getting happier! I'm scared i might lose it though... because everytime I'm happy something bad happens. i just want to keep this feeling a little longer. let's not get my hopes up too high. I've been having trouble with this.... i really like this guy.. but things might not work out because the hurricane distanced us. I never really told him i like him because i'm scared it'll ruin our friendship. I even thought that a friend of mines was falling for him too. If I don't take this chance to tell him.... it might not have it again to tell him. So should I tell Him? Or just leave things the way they are... until we all go back to New Orleans?! then I'll have to wait some more... what if i never go back? ..so confused. I'm still thinking about it... and i feel like i should wait.... but I might lose my chance again.... i hope i don't regret this, but i'm going to wait til the time is right.... But what should i really do?

New Friend

when things are almost starting to get settled down.... One second later.. boom. things change again. So now my parents are going back next week to New Orleans and I think they are staying there. heard that they can work again and live in a trailer or something. But... wherever that's gonna go.. It means that i'm staying back in Lafayette with my two little sisters for school. Now we are trying to figure things out and I got really frustrated. who's gonna drop off and pick up Anna and Thao-vi?! Who's gonna babysit Katelyn? and grandma is gonna be alone in the house.... Urgh! On top of that... got into a argument with my dad, and my sisters got all mad at me. But it's over now. but still.... i'm very stressed out and I need to get away from my family right now.... but I Can't! Urgh. And then my dad got mad at Hong for something that is not her fault cuz she didn't know. Like she said, Dad can bring you really high one minute and then can just easily get you down the next and make everyone hate you. he really needs to control his temper. actaully everyone does in my house. One good thing, Hoa and I got help from Red Cross. It's not for Katrina, but for Rita. How?! Because I got my license in Abbeville, where Rita hit. God Knows I'm Broke! So I'm not gonna be too broke in the next couple of weeks. When life gives you bumps.. you smooth it out right? but it's not giving me enough time. trying to smooth out one and then it gives me another one to deal with. i'm soooo PMSing too man. I'm very angry and just need to be alone for a while, at least from all these negative things.

This morning a girl ran into me thinking I was a friend of hers. She said I looked like her friend named Van. She felt a lil embrassed... And then I told her my name is Van! wow.. .is there actually a lost twin of me out there?! Hahaha... we talked for a while and I think she's really nice. She asked me if I wanted to go chill with her sometime to meet the other Van. Glad I got to meet a new friend here. Her name is Chinh by the way. Maybe I can finally get out of my family mess and chill with new people.

Movies

One night, I woke up from my sleep, and actually thought I was home.. in my own bed.. in New Orleans. When I realized that I wasn't... I cried .... and fell asleep.

Weekend of Movies: Watched "Just Like Heaven" and cried alot at the end and walked out the theaters red eyed. Went to wal-mart and bought "50 First Dates" for only $10 and watched it, laughed and cried. I saw this movie before.... but this time I cried even more. Maybe because I know what's gonna happen. Enough of all this crying.... why am I so emotional?! Either way, I ended the weekend of Movies renting "The Longest Yard". It was Funny! I think I have a favorite actor now: Adam Sandler! I watched almost every movie he's in.

Reflection (Xanga)

At this Moment

My Reflection  I usually do this on my blogspot.. but what the heck..

Life: In general, it is okay. Hurricane did a big turn on me and I'm dealing with it as I live day by day. I'm in God's hands.
Family: Ever since we had foodstamps we've been eating real good. Better than we were before the Hurricane. Don't tell anyone but we eat salmon, snowcrabs, steak, and lobsters. I guess we eat too well, that's why I'm so fat! We (headcount of 9) are living in a apartment of two bed rooms, one bathroom, a living/kitchen room. It's small but easy to clean, so I guess we can live. There's some tension and conflicts here and there but we've been through worst and we can handle it. Let's just say the situation could of been worst but we're thankful that it's not! I mean, we went through a Fire one time and we learned alot from then. I love my sisters alot! They are alot more wiser than me when it comes to meaningful words. I learned alot from them. As long as I keep my mouth shut, they'll love me.
Work: I Quit Castnet two weeks before Katrina. Right now, I'm not looking for a real job.. I'm just helping out my sister's store whenever she needs me.
School: Attending ULL. It's okay I guess. Only thing I like most is the computer access. Classes are okay. I'm not failing any classes yet, but I'm not doing too great either. At least I caught up a little from the two weeks I missed. I felt like I was ripped off of two weeks of school. I now know the importance of attending classes. Just hope I pass or else I'm gonna change majors!
Friends: Not many, I only see Julie at school. My Family are my friends now. But I still have friends.. like through the internet. But just think.. they're all over the United States now! I have alot of Friends everywhere...... just not here. I really miss them! the times we've shared will never be forgotten. I love UNO and I always will!

Edit: I'm really not over him though... I wanted to let him go, but like i can't stop thinking about him dude.... Urgh!

Love: I'm letting him go because I know he can be happier with the girl who's falling for him too. Besides, we weren't even a real thing in the first place. Maybe I lost my chance on love but it's okay because I can move on. At least I didn't get too attached to someone, because it would be very hard for me right now if I was. If it was meant to be, It'll come back. If Not, It's okay because I still believe in love and a time for love. I just watched two movies about love (Just Like Heaven & 50 First Dates) and felt as if i'm the only person out there without a love life, what's strange is.. I'm okay with it. It's simply not my time yet, but I'm looking forward to it soon. * the guy i'm talking about will be left unnamed, please don't ask*
God: I trust him to bring me on a path that will lead me to where I want. Which is what he wants.. I hope. I need to pray more sencerely. I never lost faith in him, just been a little lazy. I pray for my family and friends 3H's (Health/Happiness/Holiness) and things... but I haven't thank him or praise him too much for it. (But I really do Jesus!) I just need to talk to Jesus more.
Self: I feel like I have no purpose to life. I want to become a doctor, but it's not looking too good right now. Maybe I could be a good nurse! I can work hard, I think I'm a hardworker.

At This Moment

Life: In general, it is okay. Hurricane did a big turn on me and I'm dealing with it as I live day by day. I'm in God's hands.
Family: Ever since we had foodstamps we've been eating real good. Better than we were before the Hurricane. Don't tell anyone but we eat salmon, snowcrabs, steak, and lobsters. I guess we eat too well, that's why I'm so fat! We (headcount of 9) are living in a apartment of two bed rooms, one bathroom, a living/kitchen room. It's small but easy to clean, so I guess we can live. There's some tension and conflicts here and there but we've been through worst and we can handle it. Let's just say the situation could of been worst but we're thankful that it's not! I mean, we went through a Fire one time and we learned alot from then. I love my sisters alot! They are alot more wiser than me when it comes to meaningful words. I learned alot from them. As long as I keep my mouth shut, they'll love me.
Work: I Quit Castnet two weeks before Katrina. Right now, I'm not looking for a real job.. I'm just helping out my sister's store whenever she needs me.
School: Attending ULL. it's okay I guess. Only thing I like most is the computer access. Classes are okay. I'm not failing any classes yet, but I'm not doing too great either. At least I caught up a lil from the two weeks I missed. i felt like I was ripped off of two weeks of school. I now know the importance of attending classes. Just hope I pass or else I'm gonna change majors!
Friends: Not many, I only see Julie at school. My Family are my friends now. But I still have friends.. like through the internet. But just think.. they're all over the United States now! I have alot of Friends everywhere...... just not here. I really miss them! the times we've shared will never be forgotten. I love UNO and I always will!
Love: I'm letting him go because I know he can be happier with the girl who's falling for him too. Besides, we weren't even a real thing in the first place. Maybe I lost my chance on love but it's okay because I can move on. At least I didn't get too attached to someone, because it would be very hard for me right now if I was. If it was meant to be, It'll come back. If Not, It's okay because I still believe in love and a time for love. I just watched two movies about love (Just Like Heaven & 50 First Dates) and felt as if i'm the only person out there without a love life, what's strange is.. I'm okay with it. It's simply not my time yet, but I'm looking forward to it soon.
God: I trust him to bring me on a path that will lead me to where I want. Which is what he wants.. I hope. I need to pray more sencerely. I never lost faith in him, just been a litttle lazy. I pray for my family and friends 3H's (Health/Happiness/Holiness) and things... but I haven't thank him or praise him too much for it. (But I really do Jesus!) I just need to talk to Jesus more.
Self: I feel like I have no purpose to life. I want to become a doctor, but it not looking too good right now. Maybe I could be a good nurse! I can work hard, I think I'm a hardworker.

Smallville

Blah.... watched Smallville season premiere yesterday!! finally Lana and Clark are hooking up!! YAY! I want to go see that movie everyone watched.. Just Like Heaven, because it's good... we'll see. Other than that... How's everyone?

Bored Again

Back to school for me. P-cola was fun while it lasted. I Miss my lil Buddies in 850. played the stupidest game ever. Made up the rules while i went along. It's so funny to think about a 20 year old playing with a bunch of kids... I was really babysitting them, like 10 of them -in one bedroom. It was so fun, my 25 year old brother came to join!! I Miss you guys!

By the way, the game was picking from a pile of folded papers each with an identity written in it, such as: Murderer, Victim, Judge, Police, Witness... & not let anyone know of your identity and act it out in the DARK! When the Judge thinks someone killed someone... he turns on the lights. It's really fun when you actually do it!

Trying a thing here where i can add up all my comments i'm getting from now and on. Hehehe... Let's see if it works. I Must be Bored again. I really should be studying....

Bored

I didn't know how sucky I was in Bowling until yesterday night. LOL!! I Suck Real Bad... Over 50% of my balls went into the Gutter. I'm Such a Loser! Oh well, I just need to go more and practice or something... anyone wanna give me a few pointers? It was something to do since we were so bored. Oh Yeah, the football game was interesting. Even though my cousin's team lost, it was the thought of winning that made got me excited! LOL! Anyways.... It's so boring... Oh Yeah, my little sisters got xangas! cuz we're always online most of the day with nothing much to do.... Go to their pages!

OneHugablebear and AnnsoCute.

I'm leaving Pensacola today.. SO I will be VERY BORED tomorrow... maybe the TV is what I'll be doing all day tomorrow if school doesn't resume.

Rita

I ran away from Rita and went to my Grandma house in Pensacola. Over here so far is cool. I went to my Cousin Football practice. It was fun just being there for someone.... even though i was talking to his mom about the hurricanes and stuff. He needed to do his own thing. But I'm very Proud of him. Learned alot from his mom because they ride out Ivan last year and Dennis too. They know how it feels to go through hard times, Family just need to stick together... That's what important. This experience will make your family only Stronger!

Football Player

Paul Tran is So Cool....Holla at the Boy --> BigPhattyPaul

I went to his football practice today and he was so Cool!!!! I sat next to his mom talking about all the plays he was doing. He's on the defense team as a tackler. I'm going to his game tomorrow, so excited because it's his first game of the season. So, I guess this Hurricane gives me the chance to chill with my homeboys in p-cola. I'm Not all that sad as many would think I'm just Very Worried about all the people that are staying to ride out the storm in houston. I evacuated from Lafayette to Pensacola and it usually takes us about five hours, but it took us about 6-7 hours. Not bad Eh?! Thank God i didn't have to sit through traffic as many of you all did. Please take care everyone! 

 I'M SO BORED... I'm practically on the Computer all day.

Prayer

All this hurricanes is rolling in left and right..... It's crazy man! and there's like four name left this year for those hurricanes... what happens when there's no more hurricane names left to name?! what is the world coming to??? Praying to Dear God this would all go away and be a bad dream. Take care for those who are evacuating again. I'm missing all of my friends. Hope one day this will be something we can all laugh at when we're together again. I'm scared this is The End.

Hurricane Katrina

It's funny to think that during this time last year, it was Hurricane Ivan. Katrina was a big one though. Changed the life of New Orleans. All the people and the places will never be the same again. It might be a good thing because now we have a chance to change everything, especially the bad part about New Orleans, like: crime, schools and polution. There will be a time that we will come back to New Orleans, just have faith that it will be better than ever.

More Than Words

More Than Words- Extreme ( I heard this song on the radio the other day and felt really happy for no reason. I think Frankie J redid this song.)

Just when things are getting better... I caught the flu. So that pretty much cancelled my trip to h-town. I got really sick Friday morning and couldn't afford to miss any more classes and went to school the whole day and got even worse. Then at night my dad saw how bad I was feeling and Cao Gio for me. Dude, it hurts man! But it did helped me feel a little better... my headache went away. But congestion stayed with me through the whole weekend. I couldn't breath out my nose! Hate that feeling. So I stayed home and watched my nephew and niece so that their parents can go out of town for the weekend. did some homework and now I have a Chemistry test Wednesday that I'm not prepared for. I probably fail the first test. I hate starting off with a bad grade. So now my emotions are going downhill just when I thought it was going up. Better not let my hope get all high anymore when something good comes up.

Physics w/ Julie

Things are getting better everyday. Yesterday I went to my physics class and encountered and old friend of mines in high school... it's Julie Tran!!!! I'm in the same class as her!! And I thought I was lonely! And my sister got me a new hair straightner so I don't have to look crappy anymore. With my hair feeling good and a friend by my side...... brings a smile to my face! Later... I'm going to the Landromat and do some laundry. I run out of clothes fast man! I want to go back home to get all my clothes!! My drawer is high and I hope it's not wet or anything... because that's like wearing clothes soaked in dead people juice. EWWW!

Thanks to all the friends that talked to me, I'm feeling better. It's like everyone has their own way of dealing with this. Some people need time to adjust and some are doing very well with staying in a new place. Some want to take a break of school and some just want to get their minds off this and go to work/school just to keep busy. Some are taking this chance to move to another place and never come back. Some are dying to go back home and rebuild. It's okay because We all love New Orleans and will miss it very much. We all are scattered all over the place. But I'm looking forward to the day that we can all be united agian in our home!

update about me (LJ)

I'm okay and now currently staying in Lafayette in Louisiana. I'm going to school over here and it's going well. My Family is staying with family and friends. I hope we get to go back to New Orleans to get our stuff soon. I miss my house very much and Need alot of things that I think is okay to get from there. Anyways, I Hope everyone is doing well and one day we'll get our lives back together..... until then peace and god bless.

Frustrated

It's so hard for my family right now lord, I'm trying my best to be strong for my lil sisters. I have no where to turn to but you... my family is all depressed and angry with hong. my friends are all far away. I don't have time to talk to them and time to be alone and time to be with you and time to take care of things. My necks freaking hurts and i can't sleep at night, i miss my bed my house my bathroom my hair straightner, Man it's crazy. I want to cry, but i'm don't want to show it. I hate myself. I don't have any friends. And i'm not ready to make new ones yet. i miss the ones i have. I dont' feel any more. not happy not sad not anything. just whatever. I wish there was someone I can just hold onto for a very long time.

9/7/05 Well, i guess i can deal with it.. as long as i can hold on....... on the better half, my neck stopped hurting and i got a hair straightner. I don't know why... but if my hair look ugly.. i feel ugly and if my hair feels great, i have more confidence. the only time i have to myself is at school.... when i'm at home it's so frustrating dealing with my parents and sisters. Sometimes i wish i can just stay at school forever. I don't have any privacy at home and when i want to talk to my friends at night i can't because they are always wondering what i'm doing. So i just sit around the house doing nothing! =( The only time i can talk to my friends is at school during the day time and their like busy or something... And i hate to bother them like that. So i stay at school doingnothing but study and it's boring! I want to go play again... but i don't want to watse money. i need to save up for important things that might come up. I'm so frustrated.

Lafayette is a very nice place to live in, but I really miss New Orleans. Over here, I'm so Lonely!!!! I don't know anyone over here except my family. I wish I was in Houston, but I don't want to complain because.... at least I'm still with my family... what more can I ask for right? I hear alot of people is in Houston. Wish I was one of them..... That's why I'm excited for this weekend. My family is going to Houston to visit some family and friends and the stores over there. It's like three and a half hours away, compared to six... so it'll be fun. My grandma hates it here cause she don't have any of her friends to chill with, and from what she hears... all the old folks are in Houston with the priests....and she want to go over there... even if that means leaving my family. What the hell?! How do she think I feel? That's why my family is going to go over there to see how it is before we make any decisions... I mean she's old and no one will take care of her. Anyways, that means my family is going to be in town. Yippie! I think I'll be seeing some of yal.... if I'm lucky, I'll be stuck with my family most of the time.

Missing Nola

I asked God for a change... And boy did I get it.

In the mist of all the madness, I still find peace in his hands. At least I still have my family with me and hearing good news from friends. I'm in Lafayette with my sister and started school today at ULL. I'm in the computer lab at the school and seeing many people post entries on xanga brings me relief. I'm missing home already but I cried my tears and I'm moving on. It's a tough to deal with the aftermath but people in Lafayette are so nice and it's comforting. I hope everyone is doing well where they are residing. I'll miss you all much. Hen Gap Sau.

Quick Entry

Hi Xanga. Someone told me i need a new picture. there you go.... I'll be back later to write more.

It's been one week into school.... My classes are okay. I have people I know in most of my classes so that's a good thing, except for my math class. It's great to be back at school and getting back into the routine mode. I see many new faces, can't wait to meet them. Also, seeing familiar faces bring back memories from last year too. Although there are some that are doing well playng hide-and-seek with me. Anyways... hope to see yal soon. Can't hide from me forever!

Calling Passed Up

so was I supposed to be a nun?

Sometimes I feel like I should of stayed in the convent and become a Nun, But I learned from So Dang that I belong where I am holy. I think the convent would make me holy, but This is where i belong, i feel at peace and more holier than I ever thought i ever would be, without the convent lifestyle. Sometimes people say that i have the qualities to be a wonderful nun, but i believe that i can make a bigger difference living in the real world. If a person approach a Nun they would not open up to me like they are opening up to me now. I could help them on a different angle than a actual nun would. Sometimes It's easier for people to talk to regular people like me about faith because a nun can't relate to us, Because we don't have time for prayer and christian work or being holy. I'm not saying Nuns have it easier being more holy than us, (Trust me -it's harder for them) but for us it's not easy either. It helps to know that other people like us can talk about god as much as a nun or priest can without being one. So, I beleive that I am meant to be the person I am today.

Oh Lord Help

Yeu Mai Ngan Nam: Lam Nhat Tien & Minh Tuyet

I pray to my dear lord that I will make it through college so that one day I can become a good dentist. If I majored in something like nursing or radiology, I'd probably be working by now or something better than still attending school. But I think about it again, And I feel that I'm doing the right thing, because I believe that I can do better than that. What if one day I look back and thought, If i'd stayed in school for higher education, I would probably be a doctor or something. So I don't want to have any regrets and go through all four years and college, (plus some more if I need it) so that i can be very Proud of myself and not having to look back and said "I should have Tried." I'm getting old and life is NOT getting easier. Dear lord guide me through the next two years of college so that I may accomplish my goal to get itno Dentistry schoool. Right now, I would love that to happen. But May your will be done, either way, just guide me on the right path, as long as i'm doing good in school, I'll be happy. Help me through the tough times and never let me forget what's important.Thanks for helping me get through school all this time. And the times i've lost faith, you still let me find a way back to you. I Love you Forever!!!

Edit: A prayer set at private then protected to close friends. I wrote this about a year ago.

Washed Car

I washed the van today. It smells really good now! Usually it smell like my work place. Like Bleach, Fish and Oil mixed all together or something like that. So, I bought Febreeze, the special formula for automobiles. It smells like a new car everytime I go in now. And the feeling with getting inside a new car is so..... amazing. So now, everytime I leave the car, I spray a couple of times. So that the next time, When I open the car door, the smell hits my face and makes me feel happy! I get inside and drive in a happy mood. and I really don't care if there's a slow driver in front of me and even if I'm late and stuck in traffic. LOL!!

Wow, this makes me want to have a new car. But I'm really statisfied with the van. It's my mom van really, but she lets me drive it since I can't drive the big Tundra everyday to school. So she takes it to work instead and let me have the van. Hehehe... I wonder if this year my brother would let me take his car to school. I wouldn't mind driving an G35 infiniti to school. Although it would be extra stressful to take good care of it. Nah, I'm gonna stick with the van. Crazy Huh?! Anyways, my dad did ask me if I wanted a new car, but I said that I can wait.until Hong gets married, because we have too much cars in the parking lot. Sometimes I hate wasting time reversing the cars to get out in the morning for school. Anyways, I'm trying to save up for a car. It'll take some time because I always spend it on things that comes up. My sisters said I'd look good in a Jetta. But I can careless what I drive. Just as long as It can go. What yal think I should Drive?

Flat Tire

Goodness Gracious!! My first experience of having a Flat Tire!!! It happened on my way home from work. The car swirved a little and I couldn't control it for about 3-5 seconds and I slowed down immediately. I didn't hear anything blow up so I just thought that the wind knocked me off my course a little and I couldn't control my speed or something. After I slowed down I got control of the car again and drove slowly home. I had to drive a friend home too! Her life and my life was at risk. My heart was beating so fast because that never happened to me before. Thank God we got home safely.

I didn't found out, until Wednesday morning, that it was actually a flat tire. So, my older sister, Hong, said that I had to get the spare tire and change it. I was like Freaked out because I didn't know how. She never done it herself either. She only looked at people who did it before. So, I stop freaking out and told Hong that I'd do whatever it takes to get it fixed. So we went to the car and got the spare tire out. That was easy. Taking out the wheels was a tough one. We had to stand on the wrenchy thingy and jump to make it loose by holding on the the rail on top of the van!!! Good thing I'm not a light girl, because I wouldn't be able to get the bolts loose. LOL! Then we got the jack and take turns turning it until the van was high enough to take out the flat tire. Then we slip on the spare and did the opposite with the big fat bolts. Wow! I couldn't believe we Did it! It was funny how my grandma came out and said that we couldn't change it and that she would go to our neighbors house to get a "Guy" to help. It took us about 15 minutes to figure it out and got it done. Hong siad that we were like tomboys. There was no need of a guy! We left to Sam's to get new tires before she got back with a guy. LOL! Anyways, I know how to change a flat tire now. I'm Proud of myself!

Closing Chapter

We are friends and always will be. I'm happy. I can close this chapter of my life and finally move on. It took me time and opening my heart to others to find out that I can live without him and not having him in my thoughts. I realized that me and him are different now compared to the past. He changed into a person that doesn't interest me anymore. It was a good idea to spend some time with him again to find that out. I thought he was 'The One'. *chuckles* So sad that I have a change of heart. From time to time I'm conditioned to say his name in my mind when I think about a boy, but there's no feeling anymore when I say it. It just surprised me, of how I lived my life with every thought of him taking over me. True it may still have some effects on me; however, there's no more pain or excitedness in it anymore. Strange to think that There's really nothing between me and him anymore, other than we are mutual friends. The thought of him doesn't influence me anymore. Sad to say, but it's like he's really nothing to my heart anymore. I mean I do still care for him, but as friends would to each other. If he have feelings for me and actually tells me, I don't think it will ever work, there's no more Hope for us. And I'm always forever grateful he was in my life.

Just The Girl

Click Five

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing
She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion
She laughs at my dreams but I dream about her laughter
Strange as it seems she's the one I'm after

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

She can't keep a secret for more than an hour
She runs on one hundred proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me, the more I adore her
What can I do - I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

And when she sees it me
On her caller ID
She won't pick up the phone
She'd rather be alone
But I can't give up yet
Cause every word she's every said
Is still ringing in my head
Still ringing in my head

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing
Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined

Cause she's bittersweet
She knocks me off of my feet
And I can't help myself
I don't want anyone else
She's a mystery
She's too much for me
But I keep coming back for more
She's just the girl I'm looking for

Feeding Frenzy

I don't think I'm getting skinnier, Because I ate alot during the weekend of July 4th. We began our BBQ/Vietnamese food Saturday night and ate all day Sunday. My sister came over from Lafayette and brought her kids too. Then went to Grand Casino and ate Dungeness Crabs. It was fun having my family eat out together like that. Last time it was in Lafayette at Ryan's Last year while running from Hurricane Ivan. Oh these Family Moments, I won't take them for granted. Anyways, we also got Chez Pierre's Chantilly (My Favorite Cake) and got even more Fat! Oh My God! We didn't actually did anything for July 4th because we just ate leftovers and sang karoke at my house. No fireworks this year. =( Anyways, I probably gained more weight to lose now.  I'm bored now. Hurrican Dennis Is coming. I think we'll evacuate sooner this time so we don't get stuck in traffic. For those who are leaving too, be safe! Oh yeah, for those who are thinking they can ride this one out and stay back, Don't you dare! Shoutout to my cousin Linda who went to Penn State right before the storms started to roll in!

Your Birthdate: January 27

Your birth on the 27th day of the month (9 energy) adds a tone of selflessness and humanitarianism to your life path. Certainly, you are one who can work very well with people, but at the same time you need a good bit of time to be by yourself to rest and meditate. There is a very humanistic and philanthropic approach in most of things that you do. This birthday helps you be broadminded, tolerant, generous and very cooperative. You are the type of person who uses persuasion rather than force to achieve your ends. You tend to be very sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you able to give much in the way of friendship without expecting a lot in return.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart.Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people.You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile.You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker.You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side.Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Princess Dream

A Princess Dream

I'm like The Little Mermaid,
Waiting for my fantasy Hunk
to release the voice inside
by a kiss he's too shy
to dare try.

I'm like Sleeping Beauty
Waiting for my Handsome Prince
to come and save me from loneliness
For heaven's sake
Just kiss me so I can be awake

I'm like Jasmine waiting for Aladdin
To steal me away
and show me a whole new world
and Genie's magic light sparks
into our desiring hearts.

I'm Like Cinderella
Waiting for Prince Charming
to take me out
and return home before midnight
And sweep me off my feet
with a kiss so sweet.

Written by: Tuyet-Van Nguyen

Home

In such a short period of time, things can change alot. Changing is a good thing and I feel like that's what's my family's going through. Everyone is growing older and it's harder to be together like we were before. Summertime gives my family a chance to take some time out for each other. Parents been so busy with making money that they forget about the people that they're doing it for. And the younger generation is busy with finding themselves with school and work that they take for granted the people in their lives. we all just need to go back home and spend some time with each other. I love my HOME. Home = Family, Friends, and alotta LOVE. That's what making me happy and smile alot right now. Just coming to the realization of "Here's my chance to absorb every moment of HOME" and not take what I have for granted. And that's right... it includes all my friends too!

Anyways, I'm really excited for my sister. She's getting engaged!! and I'm going to be a bride's maid for her wedding. I really want to look good and I'm thinking about losing weight. Although I'm happy with my body as it is (even though I'm not skinny) but looking good in a dress makes you feel much better. Last time I wore a dress was like my senior Prom. That's two years ago! I hope I can do it. I have more than a year to get skinny. That's enough time to get skinny right? Yeah, back to the changing thing; I just need some time to change, man! i want to get skinny fast! *doing jumping jacks* Did i lost any weight? lol..naw... it'll take hard work, but i think i can do it.

I made an A on my test!

Today, I took my second test for Biology. I made another A! I'm so happy. I'm glad I took this class in the summer. even though it cost more than usual, but the teacher is worth it. I only have one more test to pass next week and then summer school ends. Summer school is faster than I thought! I'm so glad that it is. By next week I'm done and passed another class! That'll boost up my Gpa. I'm doing good man. Laters LJ.

The End

I'm over him. Goodness Gracious, I finallly can move on. I don't have any feelings for him anymore. I've been over him the past few months, just never had a chance to put it into complete closure. I'm very happy now, for a new reason. and i can let go of my past. We will be friends and that's about it. I'm glad he was in my life well, at least a part of it. And we will do just fine now. I'm content.

4-in-1

Here's a 4-in-1 Entry. Also second one this month! I must be bored. You know what?! I kinda like Xanga now.

Now that school is over, i'm very stress free. I noticed that when I wake up in the morning, I often think about something that makes me smile. What's making me smile? I'm going to keep that a secret. My little sister even made fun of me for smiling when I woke up. She's like "Are you smiling?!" I was like "No, I mean -Yeah i was." Also, when I go to work, it's easier for me to smile than usual. Life is great! I Love it, and Thank God for it.


Shrimping season is back and my Dad is not home alot anymore. I miss him. Just the other day, me and my little sister was imitating the things he would say if he was home. Like telling my mom to go in the room to sleep (she always fall asleep on the couch). I Love my Dad. I believe he's going to do well this year. Why?! read the next one.

There was a Frog in my house! A Real Jumping Frog! How it got there and why?! Don't know. My house is surrounded by cemet and the only grass we have is like in front of my house but it's like out there on the street. Why would it go into my house?! My sister Hong say it's a sign for good luck because a Frog always have his mouth open and it has a big mouth. People who own a business have little statues of Frog in their store for Goodluck. I was amazed. Here comes Goodluck!


I went to Office Depot and then i bought alot of colorful paper and used the paper cutter to make little strips of paper to make..... 3-D stars. Remember those? Since i'm bored this summer and need to waste time Tuesday, i'm going to make alot of stars. I'm going to Lafayette Tuesday and work at my sister's little gift shop so she can go out of town for a day. I'll be there all by myself Bored, So if you want you can call me!

I've been smiling alot lately

Now that school is over, i'm very stress free. I noticed that when i wake up in the morning, I often think about something that makes me smile. What's making me smile? I'm going to keep that a secret. My little sister even made fun of me for smiling when i woke up. She's like "Are you smiling?!" I was like "No, I mean -Yeah i was." Also, when i go to work, it's easier for me to smile than usual. Life is great! I Love it, and Thank God for it.
Shrimping season is back and my Dad is not home alot anymore. I miss him. Just the other day, me and my little sister was imitating the things he would say if he was home. Liek telling my mom to go in the room to sleep (she always falls asleep on the couch). I Love my Dad.
Oh yeah, there was a Frog in my house! A Real Jumping Frog! How it got there and why?! Don't know. My house is surrounded by cemet and the only grass we have is like in front of my house but it's like out there on the street. Why would it go into my house?! My sister Hong say it's a sign for good luck because a Frog always have his mouth open and it has a big mouth. People who own a business have little statues of Frog in their store for Goodluck. I was amazed. Here comes Goodluck!
I went to Office Depot and then i bought alot of colorful paper and used the paper cutter to make little strips of paper to make..... 3-D stars. Remember those? Since i'm bored this summer and need to waste time Tuesday, i'm going to make alot of stars. I'm going to Lafayette and work at my sister's little gift shop so she can go out of town for a day. I'll be there all by myself Bored to Death, So if you want please give me call buddies.

School's Over

I'm so glad school is over. I did pretty good this semester. Ever since school is over, i been chilling with my friends alot. There was a BBQ last Thursday it was fun just chilling around after exams was over. And last night i ate sushi for Daddy Andy and Devil Andy Birthdays. Happy Birthday Guys!! It was very nice spending time with friends and meeting new ones. Until last night, I only knew one Andy but now I know both! Surprisingly, I found out that Devil Andy used to live right next door to me, and he remembered me when i was just a little girl. What a small world. Wow, it's so weird how everyone one is connected to everyone in some way. Isn't that true?

One more thing: CONGRATULATIONS to my little sister who just Confirmed last Thursday. I Love You!

asianavenue post

It`s been a while since i been on asianavenue. i guess it`s because everyone is on xanga. I wonder if anyone goes on asianavenue anymore?! Well just in case you do go on here and read this -who also would like to see my xanga page that i finally posted on, the name is Vanthinks. And if you have livejournal, it`s also vanthinks, and if you have blogger, it`s swttuyetvan. I know so many journal places right? It`s because all my friends like to go on different places for their journal, so i just try to register for every one them so i can be with them to know about their life and updates or whatnots. It`s pretty cool i guess. and since no one comes here anymore, i`ll just post something in here just because i feel safe, why? because at least i have a feeling no one goes on here. LOL. but if you do, that`s great too. anyways, school sucks, but i gotta go through with it if i want to become someone. and then there`s work which is no biggie anymore, just a place i can waste my time and make money. and then there`s all these hot guys i be seeing everyday. and i have crazy thoguhts of how hot this one guy is and how much i like him! Do i actually have a crush?! anyways that`s for another time. And then there`s my dear friends that i worry about, Dat and Truc Le. Their mother just passed away and it`s so hard for me to think about how it would be like to have your mother gone. But then again, Dat`s really handling it very well, He`s very strong, and if he can be strong at this moment so shall I! My prayers are with them. wish i can do more than just words can. But i can`t bring back their mother. I made new friends here and there and it`s great. I mean there`s this one guy that i like but there`s no chance of me being with him, it`ll be all too weird. But should i really have aboyfriend right now? I sure don`t mind if i do. it won`t make a big impact on my life, i don`t think. but let`s just move on. My sister is getting engaged! It`s going to be fun. and my little sister is confirming next month and everyone is ready to get out of school! Summer is coming but it`s not going to be fun for me this year, i`m going to summer school! =( yeah it`s going to be crazy but it`ll only last for three weeks. but i just jave to wake up everyday and goto school... it`ll be fine. hope it`ll pass by quick, but not too quick ya know. anyways, i feel bored now,i need to go do something to make my life more interesting. I don`t know, any suggestions?!

Grandma

It's time again. So what's been going on?! Let's see... what am i thinking about? My grandma went into the hospital last Thursday. went to visit her twice since then. Doctors say she can go home today. but not really sure. i hope to see her when i come home today. when i go home from school, she always ask me, Con di hoc ve a? And i say -da vang. and that's it. and then the other night, we had Popeyes, and my grandma loves Popeyes! And we realized if she was home she'd be eating it with us. We miss her so much. So yesterday me and my brother went bought Popeyes and brought it to the hospital for her. We know she liked it very much. all she do is sleep eat and pray. She wants to walk around but the nurses always tell her to stay in bed. My grandma is so funny, she say that she was feeling fine and that they just want to keep her in the hospital to make money by keeping her. Anyways, i have to face it, my grandama is not getting any younger and we love her too much to let go. If that day comes soon, i can only cherish the times I have with her right now.

Just Incase you're wondering, my grandama came home on Monday.

And here's a picture of me and my favorite cousin Paul.



I hope i made this longer.

just another dream?

Oh man, It was a crazy experience in my dream, i was actually controlling it while trying to stay in it. Sometimes when you realize you're dreaming, you tend to wake up and be like "awww man i wish i was still dreaming." But i actually stayed in it! And when i did woke up intentionally in my dream i was like -cool! and then fell back asleep and knew i was dreaming again. It was fun. And then something happened, when i try to wake up i couldn't anymore, i was prolly going into deep sleep or something. But i finally woke up after so many tries. then i started praying because at first, it was a normal dream turned into nightmare cuz i couldn't wake up. So i started to pray that i will always wake up if i ever had a nightmare... and then i prayed for Dat's mom as well. Then i suddenedly had an urge to write them a letter about how you shouldn't lose faith in God especially during a really tough time. So it was like 5:00 in the morning. and i woke up praying for inspriration of what to write, and then i wrote it, and my sister alarm clock went off and she woke up to get ready for school. so I told her to give it to Truc in the morning. all that in one night, scary man. I went back to sleep like normal. i didn't want to control my dreams anymore.

Saint Patrick's Day

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everyone!
I made this pact with Paul that I would update my Xanga once a month, and it's time! Today was my first time playing ping pong! It was fun! Thanks to Thu for teaching me how to play it. I was pretty much up for anything today. Before that, I played racketball, and my face got so red that I looked like a riped tomato... literally! I needed to calm down so that my face would get back to normal.. and ping pong was a good choice. i did pretty good for a first time player, and I thought it was hard.
To make this entry interesting i'm going do those listing of things you'll like to know about me (jocked from Paul):

10 Songs I will always love
To Love you More: Celine Dion | Everything I Do I Do it for You: Brandy | To Where You Are: Josh Groban | Truly Madly Deeply: Savage Garden | Fools Rush In: A Teens | When I dream About You: Stevie B | Open Arms: Journey | If Every Word I Said (Forever): John Stamos | Trai Tim Lam Lo: Minh Tuyet & Johnny Dung | Nguyen Cau: ( it's a church song)
9 Things that Make me Smile
Babies!!! (Katelyn) | Good Memories | My Sisters | Flowers | Other's People Smile (Paul *winks*) | Holding Hands | Love Letters | Miracles | Surprises
8 Things I wear Daily
Undergarments | Earings | Contacts | a Smile | Lipgloss | Jeans | a Shirt | Shoes
7 Things That Annoy Me
Unzipped Zippers | People who leave their belt on their dirty jeans and I have to take out the belt | People who bite their Straws | wet Socks | Dry Hands | sometimes my own voice when I talk or sing too much | Bad Breath (smokers)
6 Things I am Looking Forward to
Heaven | New Adventures | Hugs | Kisses | Vacations | Easter
5 Things I am Afraid Of
Loosing all my teeth | Deep Relationships | How I will Die | Losing a Dear friend or family | My Secrets Revealed
4 People I talk to Daily
Dear Jesus | Myself | Thao-Vi | Hong
3 Foods I can live off Of
Pho | Water | Chocolates
2 Unforgettable Moments
Sweet Sixteen Birthday | First Love
1 Person I Could Spend the Rest of my life with
I don't know, It can be anyone... When i find out, I'll Tell You.

I miss live journal

A - Age you got your first kiss and when:
Does it count if people kiss you when you're a baby?
B - Band listening to right now:
Beach Boys (wouldn't it be nice)
C - Crush:
Paul
D - Dad's name:
Vinh
E - Easiest person to talk to:
My sisters
F - Favorite bands at the moment:
Green Day, Yellowcard, Black eyed peas
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms:
Bears
H - Hometown:
New Orleans, LA
I - Instruments:
keyboard And my voice
K - Kids:
none yet
L - Longest car ride ever:
Lafayette, Hurricane Evacuation
M - Mom's name:
Hue
N - Nicknames:
Van Voi (elephant in vietnamese)
O - One wish:
To become a Good dentist
P - Phobia[s]:
never waking up from a nightmare
Q - Quote:
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
Oscar Wilde
R - Reason to smile:
I love my life
S - Song you sang last:
My gift is my song (moulin rouge)
T - Time you woke up:
7:00
U - Unknown fact about me:
I don't like peanut butter but i can eat reese's peanut butter cups.
V - Vegetable you hate:
lima beans
W - Worst habit(s):
being like a viet blonde
X - X-rays you've had:
none
Y - Yummy food:
baby food!
Z - Zodiac sign:
Aquarius

Blank

I have no idea what to write, I just know that I want to write. OKAY! I'm so worried about school because I feel like i'm failing all my classes. I'm trying to keep up with everything. This weekend i'm bringing Thao-vi into Castnet to work with me. She really wants to work and i don't want to stop her. I feel cheated because I had to wait until I was 18 to work, but that same year i had to learn how to drive and started college too, so I end up working at 19 yrs old. She's now only 16. It's okay though, I feel happy for her. I also participated in the UNO tet program. It was fun becuase the people were cool and i enjoyed practicing with Lynda, Mary, Tammy, Angie, Jeanie and Mike. What I like most is getting to take pictures! I have the nicest picture of me and Paul. He's the coolest person I ever met! *winks* Did I mention it was my first time to drive to the westbank too?! We went to go pick up the girls at Archbishop Blenk. While driving there, a truck was dripping drops of dirt everywhere, and it got on my windshield glass. It was so unforgettable because we had to go through the carwash. I have pictures of that too. Anyways, we got there and back to UNO safe. Thank God! What's Next I wonder?! I'm not sure but I gotta say, "I have a new reason to look forward to each and everyday now." It's making me smile and I like it.

Xanga

First of all, I have to apologize for not using my xanga, even when i had this user page for months. Sorry guys, I just never update on xanga. I know it's a page for you to share your thoughts, but instead I go on xanga to read about others, and not tell others about myself. But if you are really interested and like to read things about me, my journal is this way. http://www.swttuyetvan.blogspot.com. If you have time just visit this page. And again sorry Xangers.

Chuc Mung Nam Moi

It's Tet! Happy New Year's everyone. It's been doing great. I'm just chilling you know, take all the worries and just put it aside and enjoy the celebration. Well, it's been a while since i updated my blog. So here: Didn't do much on Mardi Gras. I didn't get drunk or anyhting like that. I've been back at school, this semester i'm taking 20 credits! Yeah, crazy huh?! But i wanted to, so that i can keep busy and my mind off of things. i go to work less now so less money for me to spend but that's okay i'm open for red enevelopes! This weekend is going to be so Fun! So many poeple to see and wish them happy new years. My cousins from Florida are coming over to celebrate, and my niece and nephew are comong from Lafayete too. I got my camera today so i'm ready for pictures! also, my cousin Hanh and bao are getting Engaged this Saturday too, so I went shopping to get me a pretty pink satin-like shirt. Hope it's not too showy. It kinda is, but i'll cover up well with a jacket or something. hope it's cold cuz i dunt wanna look like a fool wearing a jacket on a hot day. And then there's Valentine's Day, the sweetest day of the year. Candy wise and loving wise. hope everyone enjoy their holidays.

Would I?

Okay. my birthday just passed last week. A friend of mines named Paul gave me a very thoughtful birthday gift, and people who notices, thinks that Paul likes me. I got scared. I wasn't sure if Paul likes me or not, and i'm not sure if i do either. So another friend, she asks me what would i do if Paul does likes me. i didn't answer quite yet, and then, being also a relative of Him (my secret love), she asks me: if He still likes me, would i go back with him, will I?! In my heart: "Oh Joy! He still likes me, and then right away.. it's just a rhetorical question dummy." =(. I really miss him alot. i'll never feel the same way to anyone the way i do about him. He's different from everyone else. so answer to the question: I'm not sure, but i really do want to go back with him. I wish he would tellme something about how he feels about me.

Tsnami

http://www.alljin.com/Audio/Exclusives/jin-tsunami_response.mp3

This is a song in response to the people in Hot 97 that made fun of the tragedy of the tsunami.